Friday, January 13, 2017

2017 Wicked Witch of the Year Nominees

     This is the third year I have had the great pleasure to get to know the witches who are members of the Church of Satan.  Naturally this sampling is almost ludicrously small because of the method by which nominations are made.
      On Facebook, and when the timing works properly, on Radio Free Satan's Confessions of a Wicked Witch podcast I announce the contest .  Anyone who is a member of the CoS is free to nominate any other member.  If a nominated Witch gets a second nomination, or is literally seconded, I investigate her appropriateness to represent my show in particular, and Satanic Witchdom in general.  I prefer to confirm she is a member in good standing.  If all that checks out I okay the nomination, send the witch the questionnaire, and await responses.
     In the previous two years I then chose the single winner based on the answers given on the questionnaire, and my own standards.  This year I have asked the two previous winners to assist me with what will essentially be creating the secondary "Witch Non-Congeniality" awards.  I kid.  Sorta.
You'll see.  'just figure  the fabulous Marilyn Mansfield and the brilliant Kim Rice will have a say in what goes on.
     This year we have more donations for prizes.  My next blog post will show pictures of these fantastic gifts with info on how you can obtain yours without a nomination.  Those willing to donate a prize will be given the proper snail mail address of the winner, once she is named.
     There is something else.  This year and last year a nominee has come to me, despite multiple nominations, and told me that they are withdrawing from the competition.  They felt the year they had was not demonstrative of their personal best---simply not as wickedly witchy as they knew they could be.  I could not be more proud of these women.  They KNOW THEMSELVES, and to me (as well as a 2000 year old self-help book from the Middle East,) that is the epitome of WICKED!  I applaud them.
     Very soon I will post a brief summary of each nominee, right here.  Shortly there will be two-three episodes of Confessions of a Wicked Witch, on Radio Free Satan,   When I am comfortable that I have fairly evaluated all the nominees, and have gained the input of the two previous winners, I shall name the winner(s!)
     So, finally, here is the list of nominees:
Renee Anderson
Miss Scarlett Black "the Siren of Sin"
Jessica Darling
Evelyn Eve
Zoe Frost
Josie Gallows
Heather Height
Sara Josephine
Stephanie Petersen
Shiva Rodriguez
Hydra M. Star
Witch Troj
Jessie Twain
Misty Tyers
Ruth Waytz

Thursday, November 24, 2016

Trump Won Using Satanic Rule # 6

.....and the rubes Christians happily abandoned their principles rather than elect a woman who had the audacity to behave like a politician.

Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.

     I remember the first time Reagan ran for office and the various morning news shows all did pieces on whether a divorced man could possibly win the White House.  Pundits at the time were all discussing, with real concern, whether the Christian Right, and it's PAC arm, the Moral Majority, would lend their support to this particular sinner.  Can you imagine?  Nowadays most of us don't blink at divorce, but those who do, those who most support the idea of marriage as a sacrament, as a contract authorized by God himself, are the very people who have elected a man who is on trophy wife #3.   I have previously written extensively on how horrible, deplorable (yes, I said it,) people are actually more in keeping with that repugnant book The Holy Bible than those decent, caring individuals who seem to believe that Christianity upholds virtues like love and kindness.  It is my considered opinion that Biblical Christianity is best demonstrated by the hatred displayed by the Westboro Baptist Church (blog below) and the various freaks who proudly treat their female members like dogshit, gays like abominations, and all non-Christians as victims to be harmed in God's holy name.  Like it or not that is what the sick-o book says, and like it or not the Old Testament is still part of it and like it or not Jesus himself validates the Old Testament amidst his sugaring it down in order to spread the word.  If the damn thing had no meaning why is it still attached?  The Holy Bible is chock full of sexism, racism, religious bigotry, child abuse, sex abuse.....and what a shock, Christians determined that Trump was a metric shit ton better than that thing that bled from you know where!
    Why?  It cannot be about sins accomplished, because Donald Trump damn near jumped up and down proclaiming his violations of Judeo-Christian rules!  Three marriages and a gazillion attempts and other forms of what the Bible considers adultery and sodomy. Please note, much like Hillary's husband and Hillary herself, I don't give a flying rat's ass what grown ups do with their genitalia provided they keep them away from children and minors, so Trump being a dog doesn't mean a thing to me, but.....haven't the rest of us endured decades of Christian repression, shame, guilt, and legislative attempts to control every aspect of adult sexuality?  Aren't Christians whining about sexual sin constantly and determining who is and isn't a decent human based on where their junk has been and what it has been doing?  As far as we know, although Bill is a slut and a half, Hillary has been utterly virtuous as a wife,  In fact her whole stand by your man shit, in the face of indisputable evidence is the preferred Christian response to infidelity, but Trump is a more Christian worthy candidate?  Obviously not on the marital/sexual fidelity score.
     Most Christians try to sell their appalling religion on the premise of loving they neighbor and the various aspects of who is blessed based on the Sermon on the Mount and other kindnesses allegedly supported by Jesus.  Whenever one of the Westboro-esque churches are caught saying something deemed extreme, good people who cannot let go of faith or their upbringing, or simply the need to think there is something after death, all demand the rest of us to believe that their Holy Bible doesn't support hatred or sexism, slavery, etc...They refuse to accept their religion is every inch as horrifying as Islam, or any of the Jesus Cults they denigrate like red-headed stepchildren instead of very real blood siblings.  Christians, regardless of stripe, refuse to accept the inherent hatred in their faith.
     They have determine that "REAL" Christianity is about love.
      Given the contradiction between the Holy Bible and the desire of the majority to believe they are "good" it is no wonder that Trump, no doubt unknowingly, utilized Satanic dogma to win this election.  So, what is it that Trump stole from the masses thereby relieving them of their burden?  And how did he do it?
     Before I answer perhaps I should note there are any number of Satanists and other people who voted for Donald Trump because they believe that a business motif may be a better way to run America.
      I disagree with the principle in general, and Trump in particular.  I do not want to view people as a commodity to barter with the world.  If I did want America to be run like a corporation I would want a business person who was utterly transparent about their taxes, had not had multiple bouts in bankruptcy court, and had dedicated their business to America.  I buy American cars.  I buy American clothes.  I buy American dog treats.  I support America with my dollars and I would want the person who wants to run America like a business to have experience running an American exclusive business and was way bigger in the export than import areas.  Yet there are many decent arguments that disagree with my premise as to why Trump is the wrong businessman.   Individual Satanists have individual issues that may push them in Trumps direction (2nd Amendment, Anti-Welfare, anger at Benghazi) but they are not the majority American Christians making $72,000 or less a year and who are under-educated and are responsible for actually electing Trump in.
     Satanic Rule # 6 is about taking something from someone because it is unwanted by them. Donald Trump relieved the masses of their personal responsibility.  By taking away the burden of being responsible for actually caring about individual people instead of lumping groups together, he allowed latent (and obviously not so latent) racism seem like patriotism.
     Donald Trump relieved the men who are feeling displaced and unsure of their societal positions of their obligations to treat women, even sexy ones, with respect.  He took away the need to think before speaking, because if you call it "locker room talk" it doesn't count.
     Donald Trump saw that many middle and lower class Americans are desperately afraid of things they have never dealt with, and he relieved them of that fear by validating it with the wonderful power of hatred. Satanists know well the brilliant power of hate, but hate is as individual as love.  Satanists dispute the notion of loving everyone because it makes love cheap and reduces its importance.  Likewise hating a specific race or religion rather than an individual or a group who have done the individual Satanist harm reduces the power and meaning of hate. By throwing out various races and creeds as enemies of the week he stole his followers responsibility to learn and understand, and danced with them in mock battle demeaning those who had fought fairly and with honor genuine enemies.
     Half of America was begging to be relieved of their responsibility to understand beyond catch phrases,  They ignored the fact that the black man they disliked had actually improved this country from one of the worst recessions in history.  If their individual life wasn't the perfection they saw on TV it must mean America is failing, not them individually!   That half ignored the growth. Instead they concentrated on watchwords and fear.  It would take work to understand the changes.  It would take intellect to comprehend how our position in the world needs to adjust to maintain positive dominance.  That same half wanted no part of that work.
    So, they ignored their alleged Christian convictions and picked the man who could no more fit a camel  through an eye of a needle than make it to Heaven.  They picked the first president who isn't a church goer. They picked the man who violates their views on marriage and divorce  (Matthew 5:But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.)  They turned their once altruistic backs  on  loving their neighbor (BUILD A WALL!  LOCK HER UP!  SEND THEM BACK!)  and forgot the kindness and charity that actually may be one of the few things that differentiates Christianity from the allegedly evil Islam. Without these principles, is their any Christianity?  
      They can no longer ask.  Trump relieved them of the burden of asking those deeper questions.  He relieved them of the responsibility of responsibility!!!!  They begged for him to take it from them, they didn't want it anymore, and he obliged them.
     I don't like him.  I have no respect for him.  I am even a bit afraid of him because I think he is genuinely stupid and arrogant and I hear Dr. LaVey's warning about counter-productive pride, as well as the Satanic sins of both pretentiousness and stupidity, but even more I envision the Black Pope watching Trump like a carny worker taking these rubes for all they are worth,,,and then another adage comes to mind, and fills me with the dread of certainty of this situation.  Yes, Trump conned these Christians to take their overwhelming burdens from them BUT, as the saying goes, you cannot con an honest man.


 I confess that there have been about three dozen essays, 200 rants, 80 tweets, and more nasty memes than I can count that I have written on the Trump topic since he became the Republican candidate. I confess that they now live in a small coffee can in my brain behind the 80's dance hits and the memories of little furry toy mice in costumes I collected as a child. I confess that I have not made them public because of the Church of Satan House Rule* and how that rule relates to many of my CoS friends and other members who supported Mr. Trump. Most importantly, I confess, I see the CoS position on politics, particularly as put forth by Magus Peter Gilmore, one of the most sensible positions put forth by an organized religion, ever:

“As has been said many times before, one’s politics are up to each individual member, and most of our members are political pragmatists. They support political candidates and movements whose goals reflect their own practical needs and desires. Our members span an amazing political spectrum, which includes but is not limited to: Libertarians, Liberals, Conservatives, Republicans, Democrats, Reform Party members, Independents, Capitalists, Socialists, Communists, Stalinists, Leninists, Trotskyites, Maoists, Zionists, Monarchists, Fascists, Anarchists, and just about anything else you could possibly imagine. It is up to each member to apply Satanism and determine what political means will reach his/her ends, and they are each solely responsible for this decision. Freedom and responsibility—must be a novel concept for those who aren’t Satanists. We take it in stride. Members who demand conformity from other members to their particular political fetish are welcomed to depart.”
—Magus Peter H. Gilmore,

It seems however that my diligence in trying to keep my mouth, or keyboard, shut, has been misinterpreted to mean either that I support the Trump presidency, or that I have no opinion. Well, fuck. I always have an opinion. Sometimes though the adage to keep my mouth shut in order to prevent the removal of any doubt that I am a moron rings louder and truer than any opinion scratching to be let out. Thus was different, though. I watched in horror as friends began getting snarky with each other. I saw relationships built on connections like art, music, literature, shared experiences become fractured and weak. I wanted no part of that. Aside from a few mentions on Confessions of a Wicked Witch
I did my level best to maintain an almost Swiss position. I confess, I needed to communicate .

One last thing:  There is not a single friend or CoS member who supported Trump who my opinion of has changed a single iota.  If you were my friend and confidante before you are now.  If I thought you were an asshole before, I still do, but due to our House Rule of Mutual Admiration, I'll never tell!

Tuesday, October 18, 2016


    Surely we all know a douchebag.  Surely we all know many.  There seems no shortage of them.
    October 30, 2016 is the New Moon.  In goody goody white witchy tradition  it is the time for growth and beginnings.  It is a magical planning time, a time to plant magical seeds, a time to beseech Nature to do what Nature does in the lunar equivalent of Spring.
    For me, I must confess, as a Wicked Witch, it is time to start a humdinger, mutherfucker, ass kicker of a cursing on the very worst person I have ever had the extreme displeasure to know...can I get a "Hail, Satan??!!??"
    Those looking to do the same are invited to join in.  Let me know!

Monday, December 8, 2014

Never A Dull Moment: The Good Old Days Weren't Always Good and Tomorrow Ain't as Bad as it Seems.......................................................

     I have been so lucky. For a over decade I decided to lay fairly low and as a result I was wrapped in the loving and strong arms of The Church of Satan. In addition to allowing me to stay despite my highly embarrassing presence, they elevated me and allowed me to continue the public relations work that means so much to me, and on my terms, as well.  I made them a target for humiliation and they made me feel like I wasn't a pariah but a valued member.  How could I ever be anything but grateful?

     A few years back I was doing research and felt strongly that I could substantiate my position that the Church of Satan was the first actual Satanic church in history.  Naturally there was no idea that others outside the CoS would agree, but that did not change the position.  Very simply since prior to the formation of the Church of Satan there had never been, in all of history, a voluntary group of people who had joined for ritual and dogma who called themselves Satanists, Satanism therefore was codified and created by the Church of Satan.  Occasionally someone brainy would argue those points with me from an academic/scholarly standpoint.  Very occasionally.  Rarely, even.

     Much more often however the argument would be that this can't be right because I am saying/writing it and I:

1.  'am a battered woman (prior to 20020,
2.  'am a voluntarily battered woman who married badly twice (1981 1992), 
3   'had my kids taken away  for 5 months in 2002 for being married to and divorcing a pedophile,and the authorities needed to make sure all was stable after almost a decade of Hell,
4.  'had lost my wealthy show biz family to death and am no longer is wealthy,
5.  'don't care about my kids because I reported and helped convict my pedophile husband when she discovered his crimes--obviously she should have known because criminals always commit their sins in front of an audience.  I also encouraged and was deeply content when the CoS proved their commitment to justice by expelling the criminal,
6.  'can't be a witch because out of 34 years of public participation in alternative/Pagan/Occult religions I had humiliation, abuse and pain for 8 of them,
7  'can't be a decent spokesperson/teacher/representative despite thousands of interviews, students, lectures, television and radio appearances and testifying as an expert witness as named by the state of Florida Attorney General as well as teaching in police academies to stop the harassment of ALL members of alternative religions-including those I disagree with-- because at times my personal life was in the crapper,
8.  'am a lousy example of Satanism/witchery/life because I was so worried that my daughter would suffer because of my mistakes and I had to do anything, including embarrass the Hell out of myself, to make sure my child would not lose 48,000 in scholarship money I lacked because I did not have $16,000 in the bank at that moment (no doubt all my accusers do,)
9. 'got fired from a mainstream online newspaper because I wrote something Satanic in the alternative religion column.  I had the audacity to point out that Westboro Baptists are disgusting not in spite of but because of following the Holy Bible.  My shitty writing was not the issue.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....yup.  'pretty fucking embarrassing.  'worse still--that isn't the half of it.  'Never a dull moment, and I spend a great deal of time wishing for dull moments.

In the last year I lost my Mom and my best friend, both on the heels of other stuff I mistakenly thought of as tragedies.  My perspective changed.  I can only be embarrassed if people find me interesting.  I can only be humiliated if I hide in a corner and let others take from me the things that matter.

I was 17 years old when I first did PR/education to help those who walk a different path do so without getting hit by anything that can't comprehend the greatness of a country founded upon a notion of freedom of as well as from religion.  I had been raised on stage and took my understanding of performance and the freedom my beatnik atheist parents gave me with the knowledge incessant reading and a family of Episcopal, Quakers, Catholics, and Jews provided.  I saw alternative religions as the last allowed prejudice and in my gung ho naivete I thought I could fix it.  Some days I still do. 

So yes, D. Burke of today---most recent in a long line of mean people who want to stop my points by attacking me personally, you're too late.  I have paid in tears and blood and loss for my mistakes.  You can't out me when my whole life has been lived on TV, in magazines, in legal documents and online.  All you and your ilk can do is prove that you can't use logic or reason to defeat my positions.  You can only try to personally hurt a 50 year old woman who's life has been a whole lot of things, but NEVER, EVER boring.  

Hail, Satan!!!!!! 

Friday, December 5, 2014

Podcast: Confessions of a Wicked Witch

Confessions of a Wicked Witch on RFS!

Follow the above link to hear the Wicked Witch before someone drops a house on her!

Thursday, December 4, 2014

I'm Back Just in Time to Hate Someone New!!!!!!!

As a member of the Church of Satan’s Priesthood and host of Radio Free Satan’s Confessions of a Wicked Witch, I want to help people understand the difference between real Satanists (The Church of Satan) and fakes and phonies looking for media attention (Temples of Satan/Joy of Satan.)

Ten Ways the Public can Identify Fake Satanists who want to be on TV:
  1. 1.        Fake Satanists are what real Satanists label “Shit-Disturbers.”  Real Satanists are too busy living in the here and now and worshiping their own precious lives to bother Christians about such silliness  as holiday decor.
  2. 2.       Fake Satanists look for the scum of the Earth to build their ranks.  Real Satanists  wanting to be an Active Member of the Church of Satan must fill out a long questionnaire and pay a one time fee of $200.00
  3. 3.       Fake Satanists quote The Satanic Bible and other works by Satanism founder Anton Szandor LaVey and then insult him and his memory by claiming they are the new or better way.  Real Satanists study those works, apply them to their lives, and are grateful for the man who codified the first and only Satanic religion in the world.
  4. 4.       Fake Satanists seek to destroy the United States Constitution and bring religion into the schools by disseminating false information about Satanism into the Public Schools.  Real Satanists are good parents who don’t need the schools to do their job for them.
  5. 5.       Fake Satanists actually call themselves heretics.  Real Satanists know that to be a heretic one has to believe in and then subvert Christianity.  Satanists do not.
  6. 6.       Fake Satanists seek donations and pretend their religion is a job.  Real Satanists believe in excelling in the real world with real creations and jobs.  Real Satanists pay a one time membership fee and then buy and sell, working hard to get what they desire, and being the very best in whatever endeavor they choose.
  7. 7.       Fake Satanists require a legal fund that they beg donations for—one must guess because they support/court/embrace lawbreakers.  Real Satanists report law breaking members to the authorities and excommunicate them from the Church of Satan, without mercy.
  8. 8.       Fake Satanists try to use Satanism to moderate and enter the realm of politics.  Real Satanists are members of a church where political stances are strictly personal and the church itself has no stance.
  9. 9.       Fake Satanists will ride the coattails of any group to get their name in the news.  Real Satanists are saddened that the real news is the manipulation of some Christian Heretics which will do no good for Satanists but give those opposed to alternative religions even more fodder for hatred.’ Good job!
  10. 10.   To be fair this  real Satanist will point out that this rant is primarily about the “Temples of Satan” and as silly, misguided and manipulative they are they are nowhere near as bad as the Heretical (aka Satanaflipperoos) devil worshipers created in the Christian pews who actually believe in real devils and demons,  believed the myths and now engage in blood rites,  and support nothing except the opposite of Christianity—making them, no matter what the think,  followers of God.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Don't you love me?

You loyal blog readers...why hast thou forsaken my voice?  I may be from New York, but I don't sound like it!    I need you on my journey--share with me my adventure into the current technical age.  Don't make me beg...on my knees....

And how will you ever get me to curse for you if you don't hear my confessions, hmmmm?

Don't leave me missing you!!!