Monday, February 19, 2018

Drum Roll, Please.............

The 4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Is......

Wherein the Wicked Witch Welcomes One of Her Favorite People
to the Ranks of the Wickedest of Witches!

Hail, Troj Bruegel!
Hail, Satan!

     I should not have to repeat that any of our finalists could easily be seen as an honorable mention.  Each of these women continue to inspire and provide yet another reason to feel pride in Church of Satan affiliation.
     I am requesting those offering those lovely gifts contact Troj directly for sending info, and sending me a pic of them to put up on this blog.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Introducing The Wicked Witches

Wicked Witches of the Year

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses She Is In Such Awe She is Rendered Stupid

During this year's process, I monkeyed about with the format only to discover that in an attempt to make less work, I made more work. That is ok, 'live and learn. What hasn't changed, and in fact has only grown, is my admiration for the women in the Church of Satan .
I have spent weeks trying to find a way to say what I really feel, which is that every single one of the women in this blog deserve to win this big pile of nothing but genuine respect and admiration.
The next task, made more difficult by a recent crappy medical diagnosis (fuck you, Murphy, and everyone who looks like you!) was trying to make everything look "equal" despite the fact that I myself asked for essays long enough to convey the year's personal achievements credited to applied Satanism. Some are a line. Some are pages long. All are exquisite examples Satanic/Wicked Witchery.
I discovered, reading these essays, more proof that Satanism is innate. Several of these witches actually state outright, and others allude to the fact that they no longer have to think about Satanism to use it. It is a sort of sense memory, no longer an idea, but an idea manifested.
If I had more time I might edit these essays, but considering all the time and love put into them, I would feel like I was mutilating these honest expressions. Some of them are written by friends or loved ones, and I find them particularly interesting, from the outside, looking in.

Delilah Astarte

 How, in 2017, I Utilized Satanism to Achieve My Personal Goals by Delilah Astarte

 Privet, (that's "hello"  in Russian in case you are not familiar). One of my online monikers is Delilah Astarte, and that is who I will introduce you to today.  Yes, I am absolutely pleased to meet you too, even if briefly (giggles).  Base line: Introvert, yet have extrovert adventuresome tendencies at the most interesting times.   Determined, stubborn, and hard-headed as a bull. Independent Partner & Lover to a select Few and then some. I homeschool TEENAGERS, work many business projects and put business ideas into action, ... these are simply a peek into my visually chaotic world on the outside, yet orderly interesting world in the inside, that I've weaved for myself in my kingdom.

 I'll introduce you to my interests and we can go from there.  Ever since I was a wee little Delilah, I've always been quite intrigued with all things space-related, learning about ancient civilizations (Sumerians, Egyptians, Vikings, etc.), and reading/writing. I have been gifted with a creative, abstract mind and have been deeply delving into that the past year. One of the short stories I am working on has hints of these ancient civilizations too!  I am excited to be getting these going to share with those who are interested, and hopefully, that is many, many, many people in the world. :)
  When I was younger in my teen years, I went through trauma, (sexual abuse, rape, and physical abuse).  That lead me to have PTSD and anxiety. I have indeed promised myself that it was time to get on the track and start choo-choo'in away. I've been implementing my plans to get a lot of my ideas off the ground, to quit procrastinating (which I am extremely good at btw - *Wink*), and get the Delilah momentum rolling like a sailboat smoothly floating on the ocean, and overcoming obstacles and bad weather. This has led me to isolate myself much more than usual to concentrate on the things that make me happy and bring me joy, as well as implement self-care techniques that I have learned in my therapy sessions.  I deal with a lot of people throughout my week, and some are just, no. Simply NO. We've all been there I'm sure. Sometimes dealing with the herd is not the most pleasant thing, but if you can turn situations to your favor then it's worth it. I have definitely done that more than not.

Witch Troj Bruegal:

Howdy Magista!

Thanks again for the nomination. Always a privilege.

This year, my major achievement was completing my internship and my dissertation and finally nabbing that Ph.D. after 7 long years of blood, sweat, and tears.

As we speak, I'm working on starting my own therapy private practice, planning some long-term research projects, and working on my writing. Mainly, I've just been working on recovering my energy and drive after the long slog.

To be honest, I haven't really considered the role Satanism has played in helping me to jump these hurdles. I think I've assimilated the philosophy enough to where I just do what feels right or what needs to be done. 

I will think about Satanism when I'm plotting a strategy that involves the use of Lesser Magic, when I've decided that it's time to employ Greater Magic, or when I'm thinking about how I or someone else has fallen prey to one of the Sins. I certainly sneak aspects of Satanism into my work with my clients, without necessarily using the same terms.

That's all I can think of offhand! May the best witch win!

Renee Caputa- Anderson

Hello Magistra!

Normally I would take a bit more time in putting something like this together but I start my job in 2 weeks and have a handful of things that I need to get done before that happens. I shoulda/woulda/coulda done more to this, but I'm starting to feel the pressure of time slipping away. Taxes are taking precedence, I'm so sorry to say! Anywho, here you have it!

I don't do essays. This will be more of letter to a friend, if you will.

I understand the request of accomplishments and how Satanism was used and positively affected the outcome, however, I have to admit that 90% of the time, I don't realize that it's happening. I've become so adept that it's become an everyday practice. We do find time to practice Greater Magic as we feel it's important and has very direct results in acquiring the things that we want in life.

I could list my yearly accomplishments:
Elected President of Magna Town Council
Named Honorable Mention in 2016 Wicked Witch of the Year
Finished our final Inkathon with a record-breaking year
Held our annual Halloween In Summer Festival at an all-time high
Became a "Calendar Girl"
Made new financial/longterm personal goals
Secured job of choice to attain above goals

But I think my biggest achievement happened within myself. Maybe it was through will, maybe it's evolution, I can't really put my finger on it. But I know that it happened early in 2017. Could be because we dubbed 2017 "the year of change" and we both meant it. My youngest daughter turned 19 last year. All I've ever known is raising kids. From the time I was 17. I didn't put much thought into myself or what I wanted and needed. I lived for my girls. There were certain aspects of my life that I slowly started to dedicate to myself as they got older but it finally hit me smack in the face when our youngest graduated high school. Who was I? What was I doing with my life? Could we ever really retire with NO financial freedom? I got scared. I had to come up with a plan that was foolproof and fast! Time was ticking. I'm 46 and not getting any younger. Life was fun and we lived it for ourselves but put more into what others wanted than into what we wanted. Last year that all started to change. I became selfish. My kids all live on their own and do well. The community would do just fine without us. So little by little, I started to step away from the things that had been taking time from me and giving very little return.

I decided early on that I would only serve one term as President of the Magna Town Council. And while I was serving that term I eliminated corruption that had been happening. We decided that it was going to be the final year of our annual Inkathon and it is one that will be talked about for years to come. In the process of "simplifying" our lives we talked heavily about retirement and getting out of Salt Lake (there are many reasons for this).

It was decided that the only real way to achieve that was through a second income. Now, I'm certainly not one to want to work for "the man", so in talking about it we tossed around many ideas. None of which would work for us and fit our more immediate goals. I held out, I applied for only a few jobs, but ultimately knew what it was that I wanted. Obviously, being a Mail Carrier is not the most glamorous of jobs, but it pays well, has great benefits, a retirement package, and most importantly, I'll essentially be on my own the majority of the day. And, I can take it anywhere in the Country! Am I qualified for the job? Hell no! Who is that hasn't delivered mail before? But I wanted it, so I went and got it. It took time, patience, changing our lifestyle, a background check, drug test, fingerprints, another background check, and having to explain to everyone around us why I was doing what I was doing. I don't give a rat's ass about what others think I should be doing. My Husband is my biggest supporter, he's my best friend, he's my hero, my idol, and he's been carrying the load for far too long. It was time that I lessen that for him. I don't care what the community thinks and I don't care what the Artists at the shop think.

I just want to briefly touch on the calendar. It almost came as a surprise to myself. I saw the post and commented on it. Didn't give it any thought at all. This isn't something I would have done even a year ago. It's not my style. But again, the Year of Change. I'm so glad I did it. I love the photo and I'm proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone. I want to experience new things. Life can be so boring doing the same things everyday.

The festival was enormous. Bigger than 2016. We had 2 major Sponsors. A local car dealership and Warner Bros. Enough said.

I also changed my wardrobe. Since feeling like I'm becoming a different person on the inside, possibly more mature, I felt that it was important to reflect that on the outside. I knew that I would never truly become The Compleat Witch without really looking the part. While it will take time to fully stock my wardrobe of choice, it is certainly on the way to being what I want it to be.

Finally, my proudest moment of 2016. I know it was technically an accomplishment for 2015 but it happened in 2016. I was named an Honorable Mention for Wicked Witch of the Year. Just having been nominated with so many beautiful women was enough for me. Then I was named an Honorable Mention and it moved me to tears. Sure, I'm smart, funny, sexy as hell, and an all-around great gal, but the things that you said about me really got to me. I think knowing how you feel about me really kick-started my year and gave me the boost that I was waiting for to finally get off the pot and make it all about me. I AM Goddess of my own World and nobody is going to make me happier than I can ultimately make myself. So the Year of Change happened.

Heather Height

I apologize for procrastinating but it's what I do best. 

How, in 2017,  I  Utilized Satanism to Achieve My Personal Goals 

When faced with the question of how I have used Satanism to get closer to my goals, I realized that all of my resources in 2017 have been used to help friends and family reach their goals. Honestly, I almost took a pass this round because I was, quite frankly, embarrassed. But I realized that I was responding to my presumption that others feel the roles we play as wife, mother and friend are not as valuable in a satanic sense as tending to ones own best interest. Which ultimately means that I was downplaying the value of what I do for others. So this introspection has been very helpful, and I thank you for that. 
That being said, I will tell you one of the things that I did to help someone else, my husband David, get closer to a goal that is mainly his. This year we were given the opportunity to create our first full length adult film. My part in sealing the deal involved a meeting with studio heads where I put on my best business casual dominatrix persona and did a lot of leg crossing and leaning in while we all discussed the details. I took over set design, the writing of the treatment, script, shoot schedule and, consequently, had first choice on casting. With responsibility comes power if you do it right. In order for the studio to distribute our film we needed to incorporate. So, once again, I took on the responsibility of making our little film business a corporation, awarding myself with the titles of VP, treasurer and secretary. Alright, so, maybe I did do a lil something for myself. *wink wink* 

Cimminnee Holt

So I get this email from Cmminnee, who is one of my favorite people--I kind of see her as a smarter, younger, more directed version of me, which i guess means I am nothing like her at all...dammit.  Anyway, there is a paper attached to the email which has “DO NOT CIRCULATE” stamped all over it because it is awaiting publication.  ‘Academic like stuff.  So I am mad.

I am mad because this paper is really, really good and I hope that one day it will be de riguer for it to be posted on legit Satanic sites so newcomer’s can both learn and experience the achievement of another amazing witch.

On the flip side, until I can post the whole thing, what can I say about this witty, brilliant, and beautiful witch? She is a an academic, obviously, she keeps olives too long and her cat is her teaching assistant. Fuck it.  Take my word, this is a witty, brilliant, and beautiful witch who was on the short list from the word go.

PS: I can’t wait to replace this brief bit with that amazing paper!

Marlene Hunter

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Marlene Shaw and I’m a Satanic Witch.
I’ve been in a relationship with my now husband for over 22 years. We have come to define our marriage with the saying “like a fine wine” for it only becomes more smooth and rich over time and has evolved into the most meaningful relationship I could have ever desired.  I became a mother at a very young age. At times, it still astonishes me how beautiful inside and out my daughters are.  I’d like to think that my life experiences have provided me with great skills for raising wonderful children, however, I realized that it was my ability to see them as individuals and not a reflection of myself, that truly allowed them to grow into the amazing women they are today and who and what they will be in the future. If being a caring, fierce, empowering, supportive wife and mother were the only two areas I ever felt accomplished in my life, this would be completely and honorably acceptable as I feel there is no greater fulfillment on Earth.  Your loved ones are the people you immortalize and who will immortalize you. That in itself is a Satanic triumph.   

     How I used Satanism to Achieve my Personal Goals

When a person conceptualizes what it may be to claim the title of a Satanic Witch, perhaps many ideals will come to mind.  A witch may expose a plethora of characteristics or actions that may range from being mysterious, to domineering, to even down right confusing, however, the craftiest witch will influence the world around her strategically and stately.  Not every Satanist’s journey in life is the same, nor what is considered of the utmost importance. That’s why we may agree that understanding what the essential motivating factor for an individual is, is the key to understanding their success.  With the application of Satanism, the two most vital aspects of the previous year have been, my career advancement and artistic pursuits.

Career Advancement
I have worked in the medical field for eighteen years now.  I was quite young and certainly inexperienced, as most people are when embarking on a new career.  The only position available was for an entry level office assistant, but hey, you have to start somewhere right? I quickly learned all I could to strengthen my skills and increase the need for me to be a valuable asset to the company.  Knowing exactly where you “fit in” is crucial as it gives you the upper-hand to control the  power you possess over others. I continued to increase my knowledge by any means necessary, which at times included having to be on the receiving end of a miserable, old hag’s wrath.  With the application of both lesser and greater magic, I eventually rose to the top and became the highest, most valuable employee in the company.  Many years later the Physician retired which resulted in the closure of the Practice.  Months later I acquired another great position but on a much lower pay scale.  I was a newbie to the clinic and had to prove my true potential, however, my best work does not come cheap and when I see an opportunity for advancement I will stop at nothing to make it happen.  So in 2017, after a few months of being at this new company, I studied by boss’s behavior and quickly realized exactly the way I needed to present myself in order to produce and conclude what it was I desired. I not only created a new position, I created a new department within the company. I had convinced my manager that this was extremely vital for the future of the company. I’m the head of this department and with new responsibility comes higher wages. I received a 20% increase in my salary and a shiny, new career title. As you see, experience and knowledge is quintessential for advancement. Both experience and skill does not come easily and requires hard work with years of practice.  You might even say such action like this is quite exemplary of a Satanist.   

Artistic Pursuits

Photography has been a passion of mine for many years.  It simultaneously provides me with the satisfaction of being creative while allowing expression that is, well…a form of catharsis.  Over the previous year I have developed an increase of clients.  I’d have to include here that when it comes to providing a service for someone that is entirely elective, it requires a lot of patience.  These types of jobs are primarily based upon “wants” and not “needs”. It requires the ability to feed the ego of another while appearing not to be. This is challenging for me a times because I’m the type of person that will reserve a compliment or comment if I feel it is not deserving.  However, the greater result of obtaining more practice and future funds, sometimes outweighs the foundation of my own morals.  Let’s be practical here, a little deception can be quite useful for a Witch.  
The art of expression quickly grew into a love for film.  So with this passing year, the husband and I have decided to start up our own film company. We’ve been aiding in several short films and projects. Recently, we landed a huge opportunity to film commercials and do still photography for a restaurant/bar. This is extremely exciting as it will be a monthly gig, not just a one time deal.  In addition to this new venture, there is an astronomical film project of immortalizing some members of the Church of Satan that is finally underway. Even though this idea was developed shortly after the 50th Anniversary conclave event, toward the end of this year, steps have been taken to move forward on this project.

In summary, I think it’s relevant to remember that a truly productive Satanist strives to have several activities or plans in the works, in addition to what other matters may present throughout their lives.  It may be foolish to think situations happen in some sort of predestined notion, but not everything in life is chosen. I’ve been battling my own health issues lately but I refuse to let it get me down or hold me back. You see, it’s how I take responsibility to move forward and to make little excuses as possible.  That is a pertinent part of what Satanism means to me and I’ve been applying it throughout my entire life. Satanic philosophy allows me to truly express my individuality and provides me with the tools to conquer whatever person, place, or thing I so choose. Never under estimate the power of a Satanic witch and if one thinks they have, they’ve already been beguiled by the magic of witchery.     

Little Nikki

A long time ago, and I mean a really long time ago (we’re talking 1970’s, here), I was surrounded by Playboy Magazine: the superb donor’s garage had centerfolds tacked up all over it amidst Snap-On Tool calendars, the place my mom and I got our hair cut (Love Cutters, the name alone just reeks of the 70’s...) had Playboy’s strewn across the coffee table in the waiting room, and as I waited for my mom to be done, I would always flip through them.  These women were beautiful, their bodies awed me.  

Then the 80’s happened, I hit puberty, and I waited to turn into one of those women...and while I waited, one night while visiting the sperm donor and his family, I stood in the garage, still decorated with centerfolds, talking to my stepmom and my supercool, older stepsister who actually let me hang out with her and her friends in the mall (!!!), and I saw them, and I saw the centerfolds, and it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.  It didn’t happen to them, and it wasn’t going to happen to me.  That was a horrible blow to my 13 year old mind, and that shit stayed with me for what feels like an eternity.  How would anyone ever find me attractive, I didn’t look like a centerfold.  

Enter early stages of Lesser Magic, where I figured out how to make people like me regardless of my looks, and I honed those skills, have answers, be smart, be funny as fuck, be charming as could they resist?  As Laurie Cabot failed me (hey, a lot of us had that phase, we were searching and had no idea what we were searching for...) as easily as my mother’s Catholicism had, until one day at Tower Records, sitting on the floor arranging our books section, when something quite literally fell into my lap from a higher shelf.  I read that book with a million yep, yeah, I’ve always thought that’s!  I put the book down and said to myself, I’m a Satanist.  Knowing what I was helped, but I was still having a hard time with the who.

My thirties were easier, I felt more powerful, more comfortable in my skin, started working on my appearance a bit, wanting to look nice for my wedding.  I pursued my desire to replicate a greaser look, the kind of girl Fonzie would date...while many of my steps have helped considerably with making me truly feel like who I knew I was on the inside, there was still the problem of not being a centerfold; I wanted that attention.  Yeah, having folks bow to my will because of my personality was nice, but my inner 13 year old still wanted to be a centerfold, I wanted jaws to drop.  I wanted that whammy, still, 32 years later.

Then it happened, a friend made a post about putting together a horror themed pinup calendar of us Satanic Witches.  All my fear of putting myself out there, all my squishy bits, my tummy, all of me, I threw my glove down and accepted the challenge without any fear; my truly Satanic self completely overrode reason and years of self doubt.  When the time came for my photoshoot, I got ready, and walked around mostly naked with ease In front of someone I had never met.  I let my Lesser Magic skills wash over me, and never looked back.  I’m Miss January, a Satanic pinup and Witch.

HellzJezebelle at you service!

Karen Steur

Karen Steuer’s main application of Satanism is in the form of Lesser Magic; sales promotion as well as continuing to move herself forward.
Years ago she said to hell with the workaday corporate world and started her own soapmaking business and has never looked back. In 2017, the business has expanded almost 20% over the previous year. Many of these types of small businesses don’t last much beyond a year or two, but Karen keeps on improving her product, her knowledge, her skill set and her abilities to sell...and has watched lesser businesses in her area come and go while she enjoys continued success.

She also turned to organizing and producing one of New Hampshire’s largest Farmer’s Markets last year, as well as producing a week long craft fair called the Pop Up Emporium. She attracted 11 new artists to a dying show (after marketing the hell out of the event) and ended up shoving record crowds and sales. Karen’s soaps have also been featured on the cover of NHMade magazine.

Last year Karen spoke to a group of young women as part of an “Inspirational Women in Leadership” program here in NH, where she talked about the particulars of starting her own business, and what she enjoys about it, the difficulties, what she recommend they do to be successful, etc. In addition, Karen moved out of her comfort zone and taught two soapmaking classes at Tangled Roots Herbal in Nashua, New Hampshire.
Karen is a motorcyclist; we enjoy riding trips during the summer, but she had never ridden in the dirt. While in Phoenix last year we found a place that rented dirt bikes and rode in the desert; she was nervous as hell at first but soon said “fuckit” and quickly overcame her fears and ended up having a ball.

Another highlight was when she got up the courage at 50 to appear topless in this year’s “Horrors of the Satanic Witch” calendar with gentle persuasion from her husband, of course…

All that was just in 2017. Karen continues to apply herself and her skills to better her position, achieve her goals, surpass competitors, indulge in her favorite activities and basically enjoy the hell out of life.
Entrepreneur, business owner, biker, wife, cat mom, wicked witch.

Thank you!
Paul Sherman

Misty Tyers

 In 2017 how have I used Satanism in my life? Same as I did in 2016. Okay, okay, I'll try to be a little less of a smart ass and actually write a semi coherent essay for you. My career is the first place that comes to mind where I have the greatest opportunity to apply elements of the philosophy and techniques developed in it. In my career as a barber I daily use and study first hand the elements of Lesser Magic to draw clients to me, keep them coming back, have them referring friends, and to try to get the highest tips possible. Technical skill is one thing, but being able to read the client, know what appeals to them, and to be able to become that for the  for a few minutes  will keep them loyally coming back to me instead of anyone else. My Lesser Magic skills pay my bills and put food on my table.

    I have also produced not only my handmade crafts through my Sataknits page, but also made it in to the third installment of the Devil’s Reign exhibit, was featured in the Bon Appetite horror fiction anthology, took part in  numerous interviews (both within the church and with the public), and appear as Miss June in the Horrors of the Satanic Witch calendar.

    On top of that, 2017 has marked the beginning of my foray into the world of kettlebell sport. After only 2 months of training, I competed AND WON two first place spots in my first tournament. In only a few short months since then I have begun training in a second lift and have progressed up to working with the 12kg bells for both lifts. My trainers (both competitors on the world stage) have expressed amazement at my quick progress, strength, and dedication to kettlebell sport. I hit the training platform each time and push myself as hard as I can to continue improving myself. Lift all of the heavy things! 2018 will be full of more competitions which will give me the opportunity to push my body and strength to new heights.

Jen Westerveldt


Currently under re-construction

Monday, January 15, 2018

Life Outside the Box

Life Outside the Box

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses that she Neither Cares for nor Understands "Normal" People.

Or Maybe They Just Suck?

     Regular listeners, old friends, and readers of mine know that with the exceptions of  dealing with family and Church of Satan functions I haven't been social/out and about for almost a decade.  That changed in July when I determined that being sick and housebound was about as much fun as a lye douche.  My Magister was thrilled to introduce me to new friends, and we  have had a lot of fun.  I've made some truly valuable acquaintances , and I look forward to expanding those into true friendships.  I'm excited about life.  I'm motivated.
     Still, it is hard, when dealing with normal folk, to forget why I isolated myself to begin with.  I have long fought against the idea that anyone's workplace, social group, bar scene, or team somehow has more "drama"  than any other.  My experience is that if there are more than 3 in any grouping of individuals, drama is guaranteed.  It is the handling of said drama that reveals the true nature of the group and the people who form it.
      I am certainly prone to running off half-cocked, shooting off my mouth (or keyboard,) and regretting it. Age hasn't softened that.  If anything I am more apt to "cut a bitch" than I was before.  Life is too short, and I've wasted too much time to take shit from inferiors. Yet, my upbringing has programmed certain social rules that APPEAR to make me look like easy prey.  Evidently courtesy and etiquette are so rare that, when used, they come off as jovial weakness. 
     My manners prevent me from being rude to a guest in another's home.
     My manners and respect for my man prevent me from ever making a scene at his workplace, no matter how much I am goaded.
     My manners demand please and thank you and nice to meet you.
     My manners, however, do nothing to prevent assholes from being assholes.
     I live in a small suburb outside Orlando.  I despise it and am working toward bailing ASAP.  In the interim, however, I fight my own social issues by forcing myself to go out, and mostly these experiences have been enjoyed.  Mostly. 
      Evidently there is some weird social algebraic equation that equals cunty bitches and lying men will take advantage of my politeness in order to provide themselves with drama.
or, more precisely:
      Well Bred Lady + Celebrity Gentleman+ Working Class Watering Holes=Jealous, Brain Damaged Folks Attempting to Divide & Conquer (as if they could even spell those words, let alone understand them.)  I'm guessing this is normal.  It seems so automatic, so transparent, that it must be some evolutionary adaptation for the mediocre (and that is a compliment,) to attempt to upgrade their gene pool.  Unfortunately it pisses me off, and while anger is manageable, the accompanying disappointment and hurt feelings are a bit harder to control.
     I don't have a pithy answer.  I don't know how to deal with someone lying to my face an attempting to get over on me.  I don't understand the kind of jealousy that demands I either abandon my social conventions, or pretend I am blind to amateur manipulations.  This experience has proved to me, yet again, we are different.  We are not like other people who's self-esteem comes from without, rather than within.  Which, I suppose, is a pleasant reminder of why others are jealous at all.
     For MYSELF I won't return to my box.
     Until the day I pull out of this shithole (hey, just quotin') the locals best get used to one polite, gracious, but never forget, WICKED witch.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Nominations and Instructions

4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Nominations and Instructions

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses that
Demanding  25+ Questionnaires Sounds a Bit Too Lock, Step, Lock, to Her,
Bordering on a Kind of Toxic Herd Corporate Feely Thing
She Cannot Justify


Essays, Anyone?

     Once it came to my attention that this process was a colossal pain the ass I consulted my three wise women, blew those ladies off pretty seriously, and made an executive decision. I want an essay per nominee.  The nominee can write it, or have it done by a proxy of her choice.  This is because a few of those who made nominations are hard of reading, and broke rules by nominating some who weren't CoS Members in Good Standing---which has led me to two of my least favorite emotions, the first being humiliation of myself, the second being the need of potentially humiliating someone else. This is not the fault of the nominated witches, and for that reason I will not publicly single anyone out.
Here is what we're gonna do. By January 26th anyone on the list who wishes to accept their nomination should have an essay to me.  I give not a single fuck who writes it.  The theme of the essay is simple as can be:  How, in 2017  I /She Utilized Satanism to Achieve My Personal Goals .  It's complete dreck, I agree, but it does define what I am looking for.  I will not mention anything else regarding the nominees until I list the 13 semi-finalists.
Now, be gone and stop pissing me off!

Essays can be however long it takes to make me buy them.
3 pics would be helpful.
They should be sent to :

Thursday, December 14, 2017

Satanic Panic Info and Rebuttal Project

Burying The Panic

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses to being Baited by Christian Trolls butRises to Pursue a Quest 

     This entry is a bit different in that it should be added to over time.  
       This ignorant bitch Batshit Cuntbag has made me aware that the falsified, perjured, and fictional accounts of the Satanic Panic have not been expunged or corrected  in the information repositories in our country.  They sit on servers, or in public libraries, waiting for the perpetually stupid to find and cite them, feeling validated by the document's location.  After all, the joy of the Internet is you can always find another ignorant asshole to parrot your existing prejudices and feelings.
        I have never participated in book banning, or burning, or any hold on the First Amendment.  I won't now.  I will, however, seek to have these seemingly archaic books, files, documents and records adjusted so those without critical reasoning skills (see Ms. Cuntbag, above,) will not be under the impression that our government supports the proven false information they contain.  Yes, I know, housing information is not the same as supporting or perpetuating said information BUT if this past year has proven anything to me it is that we are a nation of  fucking troglodytes who couldn't find a logical thought with both hands and a flashlight.
            There are only two kinds of "afterlife."  The first is whether you are remembered in any way by any one.  The second is your DNA lying within your progeny and their progeny and so forth.  My hereafter will not be marred by the lies of those who sought to make a fortune by projecting their own sick and twisted fantasies onto those who did no wrong.

     Ms. Cuntbag keeps referencing a pamphlet made by the some of the worst Satanic Panic aggressors.  It was submitted to DoJ for a seminar that I myself was invited to speak at involving Juvenile Justice and Cults.  I prepared a report, too, ended up pregnant and didn't attend.  The point is that the invitees were whoever was doing the talk show circuit back then, and everyone had an agenda they put forth in their report.  The report was then filed in the National Criminal Justice Reference Service.  The DoJ makes it crystal clear that the NCJRS is a "clearinghouse" for information and that inclusion of the information is not to be presumed accurate.

     DoJ Disclaimer

      So I have written them the following:
   My name is Ygraine Osborn-Mitchell and I am a member of the clergy in The Church of Satan, a recognized religious organization formed in 1966. I recently became aware that your website includes information so outdated and libelous that it poses a danger to citizens like myself and my family.
     The link below leads to over 50 documents regarding the legal religion of Satanism and it's alleged connection to topics that relate to crime.  Many of these abstracts and articles are from the social period known as "The Satanic Panic," a dangerous hysteric phenomena most obvious from the mid 1970's to the mid 1990's.  During this period the attacks, accusations, trials of perfectly innocent (and mostly not Satanic) people was rampant and many lives were ruined so that the perpetrators of this myth could continue to sell books, make paid speaking appearances, become salaried "experts." and promote quack science, all in the name of offering "salvation."
        The issue began to clear, first with the FBI's Kenneth Lanning's report on (the lack of) SRA, and later when the absurdity of these claims ran headlong into the real people hurt by these falsehoods.
       Yet, today, I am confronted by bigots and fanatics who have used your resource to find the old, debunked myths and present them as a government endorsed facts.  Worse, still, with ref #140554, which was a product of discredited "experts", it appears as if this "training manual" was actually created and utilized by the Department of Justice.
      I ran similar searches as the below on terms like "Judaism," "Christianity," and several other religions, all of which have had negative mythologies perpetuated by those in different religions.  Strangely, unlike the seemingly verified document that led someone to ask me if I ate feces and drank urine, I find none of these other prejudicial stereotypes utilized and presented for law enforcement to ponder over.
       I do not ask that these files be removed.They stand as a testament to those who were destroyed by the cruelty of fear and prejudice.I ask that they be prefaced with a link to the Lanning Report (
Kenneth V. Lanning, "Investigator's Guide to Allegations of 'Ritual' Child Abuse", Behavioral Science Unit, National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime, Federal Bureau of Investigation, FBI Academy, Quantico, Virginia 22135 (1992))
and/or a link to the Church of Satan FAQ Satanism FACTS
op at the very least a notation that the information is out of date and that there is no evidence to support the actions purported in these articles .
     It is simply unacceptable that in a country where the vast majority of violent and sexual crime is committed by Christians that the tax dollars of Satanists should be used to confirm the untrue prejudices of those who would and have harmed us.
     I look forward to hearing back from you.

Ygraine Gidney-Mitchell, Magistra, Church of Satan

     As I continue my quest I invite you to submit items that have stayed too long at the fair. Use the comments section to submit anything you feel might need updating.  Mind you,  I am PROUD that most Satanists don't give a single fuck about this shit.  I admire them.  I wish I could be like them.  Sadly my genetic imperative demands activism, to make my parents proud and to make my descendants safe.

Monday, November 27, 2017


Wicked Witch of the Year/2018

Wherein the Wicked Witch asks female (or close enough for government work) Church of Satan Members if they are the Shit?

...and admits she can never remember that whole Satanic A.S. datey thing

     Last year I began late.
     This year we get this bitch up and running right about now.
     As stated in previous blogs (that I'm sure you all read with immediate and rapt attention,) I am the Wicked Witch, this my contest and any demonstrations of democracy are purely coincidental.
      There are some new rules because, hey, why the fuck not?  I'm going to list them now, probably because I am thinking about them now.
  •      Nominations may be sent to Ygraine Osborn Mitchell  PM/Messenger via Facebook or email:
  •      Nominations may be made between now and January 1, 2018.  The name of those who make nominations will be confidential.
  •      Those who nominate and contestants must be members in good standing in the Church of Satan.
  •      Nominate no more than 2 witches.
  •      Only when a witch is nominated twice will she be put on the roster (considered a nomination and a seconding.)
  •      Donations for the winner of the Witch of the Year are welcomed.  Prizes, gifts, services, etc...are to be sent to the winner by the donating member/shop/creator once the winner is announced.
  •      The winner will be interviewed on Confessions of a Wicked Witch and the prizes she has received will be promoted at that time.  Additionally those who pledge prizes may provide an ad/graphic to be placed on this blog.
  •      Once vetted all contestants will be evaluated by myself and the three previous winners, and we will pick the 13 we feel best represent Wicked Witchery.
  •      The 13 finalists will be announced in early January.
  •      They will be  expected to fill out a questionnaire, provide 3 pictures, and be open to further contact with the Wicked Witch, as well as agreeing to be written about and be on the podcast.
  •      Once the finalists are announced, a brief bio based on the questionnaire responses will be posted here, as well as photos.
  •      This year I will welcome letters of support from any CoS member regarding the finalists.  The writer will need to let me know who they are but they can be granted anonymity should any part of their letter be posted. 
  •       The winner will be announced before the end of January.

What is a Wicked Witch
How to Evaluate if one of them are Worthy of the Title of
Wicked Witch of the Year

     To get the full understanding of what makes a Wicked Witch you'll need to read my book Confessions of a Wicked Witch coming out when I get the fuck around to finishing it.  For our purposes and the purpose of an annual contest a Wicked Witch is a Satanist who uses her abilities, all of them, to create the world she wants.  This is about accomplishing goals within the last year.  The goals are those set by the witch herself.  I'll be much more impressed by the woman who CHOSE to be a garbage collector, and got the job and is doing it well, than I would the woman who married well and now runs her husband's business, hating each day that she sacrificed her dreams for the sake of convention.  Of course if she loves her man's business and improves it by her own work, fuck, yeah!  The question I would ask before nominating would be "What did this witch do, in 2017, to improve her quality of life using the tenets of Satanism?"

     A word about gender issues:  There can be no fewer fucks given than I have for what a person's reproductive junk is.  If a person identifies as a WITCH, is a member in good standing, and gets the requisite two nominations they will be entered.  'nuff said.

     Now, let's have some fun and get to know some seriously cool women.

Hail, Satan!

Friday, November 10, 2017

NOT me, too.

NOT me, too!

Wherein the Wicked Witch is determined to be Pro-Rape Culture by the Over-Informed and the Under-Experienced

     Although I survived a brutal sexual assault in my teens, and I'm a third generation feminist, I have been watching the exponential revelations of sexual abuse with both overwhelming sympathy and a need for better solutions than mere outrage can effect.   I am concerned that this mob mentality has ramifications that are in conflict with actually solving the problem of sexual abuse.  Worse, the demand for new language, new stilted behaviors, is an assault on our cherished freedom of expression.  Why we can't just punish the living shit out of those who have committed crimes, and allow each individual respond to speech as they see fit, is beyond me.
      I did not "me, too."  I have nothing but empathy and pride for the women who choose to take power in the act. I hope the trend creates some comfort.   I just found my power a different way.   However,  not following suit is NOT an indication of a lack of support, although in the Social Justice Warrior World, the omission of saying something is the same as saying the reverse of something,  Yet more irony.  The people who want to make a lack of language mean something are the same as those who want to monkey with language in the first place.
      I confess that I am old enough to have determined that every decade brings a new "root of all evil."  I know.  Everyone lays that at money's door.  A stronger case could be made for the lack of it, but I'm talking societal ills.  This is the decade of social media.  We don't need no stinkin' voting booths or Letters to the Editor anymore.  Egalitarianism run amok.  It would be a fun joke if it wasn't so powerful.  As a result I am now privy to the heretofore private thoughts of every-fucking-body.
     I  have always enjoyed Rose McGowan's work.  I have , even more, enjoyed her devotion to Boston Terriers and their rescue.  She has always come across as talented, smart, quirky, and tough in all the right ways.  The fact that this powerful, disgusting, criminal assaulted her is no one's fault but his.  She was the victim and now she is the survivor.  He was, is, and will be unto death a colossal piece of shit who deserves dying.  Clear?  Am I in anyway supporting this foul wretch of a  partial birth abortion?  Obviously not,
     I confess that I, apparently, maintain a very unpopular, um, sub-position.  My position on sexual assault is life in prison or death.  My position on sexual harassment is firing, fining, and shaming.  My sub-position is that it is wrong to take settlements with non-disclosure agreements in lieu of prosecution/reporting.  Yup. Very unpopular.  I am being accused of being  "Pro Rape Culture."  Me.  Holy fuck, what is wrong with you people?
     My belief is  that a person who signs a non-disclosure agreement  has done a disservice to later victims.  This doesn't negate their victimization or support the victimizer.   This is about protecting the next potential victim.
      Now a victim can understandably say, "fuck them.  This is my tragedy and I'll deal with it in my own way."  Completely cool.  The traumatized may need to shut this door fast and effectively.  Yet, having done that, you might want to check your credentials before preaching "sisterhood" and starting a social media army.
     I'm saying all this talk of sisterhood is just so much drivel.  I'm saying that it is a lip-service slogan that means exactly however many words we can tweet.  Sisterhood is becoming an enormous cyber gender-creature that has, it seems, no concept of what sisters do for each other.  Sisters don't let their sisters walk directly into the lion's den without warning.  They especially don't take cash to keep their sisters in the dark and vulnerable.  I have 3 daughters.  I know what lengths sisters will go to  fight for each other.
      If I were to choose the sisters to battle 40,000 years of male sexual domination, particularly what sort of sisters could lead such a movement, I would not choose women who made the personal choice to keep quiet when quiet guaranteed more victims.  I would not choose anyone who has a problem with curiosity.  I would not choose someone who's final goal is to create a social media movement, rather than end sexual abuse.  Outrage is, as my best buddy reminds me, "cheap heat."
        I am being told I am pro-Rape Culture. I can't even comprehend why a criminal behavior is being glamorized into a "culture" by the very people in danger.  This kind of bullshit language is part of the problem.  It is condescending to those who are no such thing, and allows some college kid to feel entitled to tell experienced humans that we are somehow oblivious to our micro-aggression, thus we potentially trigger people   At this point I want to trigger people.  Is it just me or are the people demanding others to take responsibility the same who claim they or others can be triggered? 
     If women are demanding that men should have spoken up/acted, then, in the name of social equality and the notion of responsibility, we must say the same for women.   If women demand that men (not the abusers but the poor fucks being called collaborators) change their behavior to protect women, then are we not already deferring to them?  How can we demand from others what we are unwilling to do for others, ourselves?
      With apologies to Rose and her army, they are asking to be both empowered and protected/sheltered at the same time.  They think tweeting is "fighting"---kind of like King Douchebag.  In this country fighting is done in the courts.  If the courts won't play fair we use our economic strength and power to change the system.  If the system won't change to make women safer we use our experience to share what we know with those we love.  What we cannot do, what we should never do, is  legally bind our mouths shut and spend a few decades knowing that others are being victimized.  Hey....the money isn't even the issue.  These women deserved the cash and more.  It is the Non-Disclosure Agreements.  They might as well be called  the "Rape-the-Next-Chick Agreements."
     Today's rightfully angry young women are WAY over-informed, and when challenged on their "facts" they become defensive to the point of anger.  They take either a confrontational or a dismissive position to anyone who doesn't parrot back the new language of victims.  They have dismissed experience as superfluous, unless it is echoed online by whatever nobody has posted some dubious stats.  They think critical thinking takes place reading posts online.
They think their movement will bring about a Utopian society where no one's feelings are ever hurt.  They shriek against fascism but fail to see that legislating, even figuratively,  what people say, and not what they do, is in direct conflict with freedom..  Worse, it diminishes the first amendment, which evidently needed the addendum "Even language that hurts your feelings is protected, and you'll be glad of it because it will help you identify assholes."
      I confess to not wanting to live in a place where everyone lies and puts on a Stepford mask in order to prevent inexperienced, pseudo-informed, fanatics from losing their shit.  Most of all, none of this ridiculous language does anything to stop sexual abuse!  So if calling me Pro-Rape Culture makes you wet (yup, offensive as fuck, huh?) have at it.  I'm looking for a real revolution for women where we can be led by experience and not vitriol.  I won't join me, too because I believe one should only join things that  one wants as a representation of who they are.*  I refuse to be defined by things done to me.  I will be defined by my own choices and actions.

her, too:

       A fifteen year old girl has been sexually abused, physically beaten, and completely terrorized for half her life.  She has been informed that if she ever tells he will kill the entire family.  His previous actions lend huge amounts of credence to that threat.  It takes 2 years after the initial report to bring the case to disposition.  Those years are filled with statements, depositions, embarrassment and shame.  Life stops moving.  The child can't grow until this is concluded.
      In court, to discuss the terms of a plea agreement, that girl--a child, stood in front of a judge, a prosecutor, the family of her attacker, a smarmy defense attorney, as well as her own family, and her attacker.  He was less than 10 feet from her.  She had truths she had to say for legal reasons.  While the  judge was encouraging,  her attacker stood in court, facing years in prison, and laughed at her.  He ridiculed her pain, minimized her terror, and although pleading guilty maintained his innocence, despite taking the same from at least 3 other children.   He was a monster who was sent to prison, unable to hurt anyone for years, thanks to the sheer bravery, the integrity and decency of a 15 year old child.
     Ladies and gentlemen, if that isn't your idea of a hero, you're fucking broken.
    The women who jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire, to demand justice, or at the very least, truth, are the women, the sisters, who should lead.  No victim should ever feel shame about what was done to them.  Yet, we all are responsible for what we do, or don't do, ourselves.
 'Never, for the sake of peace and quiet, deny your own experience or convictions'
Dag Hammarskjod