Friday, November 28, 2008

The Worst of the Worst: Joy Of Satan

Five minutes ago as I was finishing up the research to write this blog, my beloved Magister Mitchell asked me what was wrong with Joy of Satan Ministries? Out of my mouth popped " Well, if you read everything I have ever written about what is wrong with non-CoS Satanism and put it all in one place, BINGO! You'd have Joy of Satan Ministries." I wish I had been exaggerating.

It is the policy of The Church of Satan to not name offending organizations because it often gives these losers a sort of reverse validation. To even know that they are being noticed by us makes them giddy with the sort of joy only willing victims can revel in. This group is such an object lesson, such a textbook description of everything wrong that I can find no way around addressing them by name and addressing them completely.
Joy of Satan is a spiritual devil worshiping sect heavy on anti-Semites and white supremacy (except for Native Americans, 'go figure,) which advocates recruitment of kids, blood ritual, appeasement magic, and historical revisionism. When I write about what makes Satanists look bad---these are them.
Not long ago some moron complained that I had written that there was no Satanism prior to 1966. This Hawking clone wrote "Bullshit! What about Joy of Satan?" I had never heard of these people before and did some preliminary searches to find this group began in the late 90's/early 00's. Historical chronology apparently is not part of the training. The leader is a lady called Maxine Deitrich, which is not her real name, but who cares? Most of us in this line of work use a pseudonym--no sin there. The mailing address is Tulsa Oklahoma and they seem to have legitimate credentials regarding copyrighting their material and being a legal religious institution. 'can't gripe about that. Which is just as well because there is so much to complain about that I may not stop writing until Christmas. Let us start with their basic philosophy:

Their Black Book

In a nutshell, these people believe in a literal deity named Satan, who they call "Father Satan" and he has all the bells and whistles of god. They literally worship and pray to him. They are the stereotypical satanists as envisioned by every uneducated christian schmuck. That much i had been prepared for. The trouble is that I found this link under this heading:
"More Tips for Teens....Father Satan states in the Black Book we are to keep his secrets!"

This is outrageously irresponsible! If it isn't criminal, it should be.

I would be/have been deeply offended when Christians of all stripes have tried to recruit/propagandize/proselytize/minister to my children. It just isn't cool. Parents have a right to raise their kids as they see fit, the only exception being abuse. When the child turns 18 and is no longer the parent's responsibility, all bets are off, but until then NO ONE has the right to undermine the authority of a legal guardian. Ever. Period.

That this bitch would have the balls not only to direct this detritus at kids, but then tell them to lie to their parents as a religious mandate from a literal god-form named Satan is inexcusable. She is handing the mainstream their biggest fears on a platter. She is embodying the very lies I have worked for decades to dispel, and I take it really personally, as a Satanist, a parent, and a woman. She has forfeited her vagina as far as I am concerned.

However--before we move on, here are some goodies worth a giggle:

Once you become really strong in Satan, Christian symbols, prayers and related become unbearable and literally sickening.....because if you join up with my group you are that weak and powerless. By adopting Satan as a literal deity you are giving power to the very thing you claim to be against.
If you are forced to take the communion host, you can hold it in your mouth, ask to use the restroom and spit it in the toilet. ...because those Catholic wafers have real power and if you swallow them Satan will be might get a halo.
Remember, Christianity is a false religion with a false god. Once you really know the truth, Christianity will have no power over you. ...but if I don't give you these silly instructions you'll doubt my authority and we can't have that.

There are even more demands to become lying sacks of shit on this page:

Burkes Tips To Guarantee Disloyalty and Prevent Integrity

Now, I am not sure who it is the Joy of Satan Ministry want in their organization, but honest, truthful people are obviously neither valued nor welcomed. A teen who is taught that god (even in the form of satan) wants them to lie to those who love and care for them is not the type of person I want in my religious group. Moreover, once again, they are feeding into the whole Christian "Father of Lies" mythos that distracts from the genuine dogmatic requirement of doubt and inquiry that makes Satanism BETTER than traditional religions. Before we move on from kids, one last thing, and although this applies to all the morons who want to join up with these looney tunes, the fact that they are endorsing this behavior for kids is completely disgusting:

How to Sell Your Soul or Get Hepatitis/AIDS from the Devil

Unbelievable. In this day and age...................

Moving On...............

My readers know that my specific field of interest is making the word "Satanism" mean one thing. As aware as i am that it is not an easy accomplishment it is a valuable one. This blog has entry after entry of me supporting my contention with historical fact and sociological reasoning. Several of my readers are even "spiritual satanists" who may disagree with me as a result of their own religious leanings but understand the reason why I feel this is a worthy pursuit. As the world gets smaller (via the internet) I believe it becomes more necessary for future generations of Satanists, my children as a matter of fact, to have the right to their religious name without apology or misunderstanding. This blog has paragraph after paragraph about how there was no codified religion called Satanism prior to 1966. Based on that as well as The Satanic Bible, an organized hierarchy, published and accepted (by law enforcement and academics, alike) ritual and dogma, and a thriving membership, my contention is that Satanism means one thing: The religion created by Anton LaVey, as put forth in The Satanic Bible, as practiced by those who have adopted the philosophy within The Satanic Bible and/or who are members of The Church of Satan.

The importance of this is based on the fact that without strict definition there is no defense or understanding. I want, when someone hears the word Satanist for them to immediately know what we are, or, even more importantly, what we aren't.

Joy of Satan is not Satanic. It is the epitome of Christian Heresy. It is devil worshiping. It is also a hate group in the most PC sense of the word:

Joy of Satan's sister organization

The Catholic Church and Christian religion are staffed with at the higher levels, and tools of the Jews who are their masters. The Jews are the ones who control the Christian Churches, especially the Catholic Vatican from which all other Christian sects evolved.

Oh, boy.

The following are the rules from their e-group on As I'd sooner perform an at home mastectomy than join, and am feeling the need, I will respond purple, because it is pretty. By the way the rules are the same for their teen group which says:

This group is for 13-19 year olds who wish to establish a relationship with Satan. The group is moderated so Christians cannot try to infest or disrupt in any way. High Priests and Priestesses of Satan are online to answer questions and post sermons for teens.

1. We know Satan and his Demons are real beings. If you are LaVeyan, or feel otherwise, do not push your beliefs here.

Satanists know you are Christians wearing black, as only those infected by Judeo-Christian religion need literal devils and demons to avoid being self-responsible. True Satanists might look at your page but to join your group would validate you and you are unworthy...oh, and Satanists don't have "beliefs" to push. Belief is for those too stupid to find out and know.

2. People who sympathise with and/or support the enemies of Satan- Jews, Christians and Muslims WILL BE BANNED!
Holy Shit! Racist , weak, stupid, and manipulative is no way to go through life, kids.

3. Blasphemy against Satan and/or his Demons will not be tolerated!
Almighty Father Satan needs you to fight his battles for him?

4. If you believe Satan and his Demons are evil, this is not the group for you, find another.
Why? Your definition of these beings is precisely the same as a Christians, you just reverse who is on the winning team.

5. Do not try to push Wiccan or other non-Satanic creeds here.
Strangely, I find these guys make Wicca look good--like in a major way, good.

6. Do not try to promote individuals, groups or organizations who bash the Joy of Satan. Your posts will be deleted and you will be banned.
Makes sense, but ya can't blame a girl for trying.

7. Anyone who posts advocating anything illegal will be banned.
Says the group who want kids to lie to their folks, and perform blood rituals.

8. Please be polite- flaming will not be tolerated.
Because there is nothing more offensive than a rude devil worshiping, deceptive, lying, racist.

There is so much more and I invite my beloved readers to comment on what they see and we can discuss it.

However, what you most need to know is that THIS is exactly what I am always going on about. How can I tell the cops, the teachers, the professors what I know to be true about Satanism, what I can back up with literature and anecdote alike, as long as scum like this are allowed to use our name unchallenged?

More to come,


Thursday, November 27, 2008

Christians Against Cartoon: Agreement Across the Aisle

I came across this:

This is possibly the best stuff from evangelicals since Ted Haggard.

It certainly is more of the same sort of paranoia associated with the D & D freak-out/satanic panic of the 80's.

But what I am guessing is that the providers/writers of this page don't know is how much I, as a Satanic Mom, agree with their ultimate position---that a lot of these cartoons are horrible for children and sending messages that are against my religion.

Can you imagine?

Of course it is the utter lack of understanding of Satanism that fuels the web site's contention. Because Christians are generally low on imagination they assume anything bad is Satanic, anything they disagree with, likewise. Therefore they equate Communism as Satanic.

While the Church of Satan purposely takes no position on politics, the Satanic philosophy of individualism, self-divinity, self-responsibility, and meritocracy pretty much negates any communist leanings.

Regarding Dora The Explorer the Christians against Cartoons write this:

Not only does this disc promote SATANISM and PAGANISM but it also propagates THE NEW COMMUNISM as an Unholy Trinity.....Dora then tells the children to march like these RED ANTS OF COMMUNISM to a sick little tune that proclaims: “We're the marching ants and we won't let you past 'til you dance our dance.”

Now, any Satanist would be sickened by this. 'marching to one's own tune is the epitome of Satanism.

Of course a religion like Christianity that demands blind faith and complete obedience should probably be pleased that this sort of programming is, um, being programmed, into their kids' heads.

The CaC (isn't that cute?) also has an absolute kitten over Dora's goat.

This goat that bears the sins of all of the Children of Israel is Azazel Goat, The Goat of Mendes, The Devil Himself! There is no doubt that the creators of “Dora The Explorer” included this Goat as a reference to the Lord of the Suphur Pit to put our Children at ease with the demonic in much the same manner as the creators of “Monsters Inc.” and “Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends” that we have discussed earlier.

The bit about making kids comfortable with the demonic is insane, of course. At no point does anyone explain why anyone would want to make kids comfy with the demonic. Evidently the Christian theory is that all creative people in Hollywood are either pawns of or in league with the literal devil. As a Satanist who has sat through any number of movies, TV shows, etc....I can assure them they are wrong. If there were a devil he'd have more taste.

What is offensive to me about Dora's goat is that he IS NOT used to promote the Satanic ideals we use the Baphomet for in Satanism. My kids called all goats Baphomets their whole childhoods. I used the image of baphomet and trips to the petting zoo as opportunities to teach all manner of life lessons, all of which are good and solid and psychologically empowering. Dora's goat does not show man to be just another beast, not does he demonstrate the need to reject spiritual trinities. What he is used for is to promote the ideal of cultural relativism.

First, Dora, a force for the false belief in cultural relativism and the rejection of GOD’S TRUTH disguised as educational television, is accompanied in her adventures by a TALKING GOAT during her adventures on this DVD.

As I wrote in the previous blog, I am way over cultural relativism beyond it's ability to explain. While I am a firm proponent of gray, as in not everything is black and white, there are some shades in between, like my CaC friends here, I find using Cultural Relativism to mitigate things that are considered an abomination here in the West, to be unacceptable. See...the Satanist and the Christians are once again in agreement!

And again! I hate Sponge Bob. I don't get it. It is a badly animated, ugly cartoon, about a friggin' sponge, for chrissakes. My reasoning may vary, but I will agree with the CaC when they say this:

Then the scene cuts to their father in the bathtub with a sponge on his head proclaiming he is “Sponge Bob No Pants.” This ad is wholly inappropriate any way you look at it...This heedless commercial that they have combined to produce is an Abomination of the Earth!!!

Anything as ugly as Sponge Bob is an abomination. More important, I was grossed out when I saw the commercial CaC is referring to. In a day and age where we are trying to protect kids from abuse, using nude parents to sell Happy Meals is pretty inappropriate., I picked through a bunch of things to show that there is common ground.

But who am I fooling?

The only real common ground, and the Christians will never admit it, is that Satanists and Christians and Muslims and Jews and Pagans and everyone wants what is best for their kids. Everyone. What is different is what constitutes best.

The rest of this site is absolutely insane. Really. The fear of homosexuality makes you believe that the entire thing was written by some closeted latent homo who lives each moment terrified that he'll see a guy and get a hard-on. The writer is evidently convinced that TV or any entertainment makes people gay:

The reason is plainly obvious. By this combination of words, Cartoon Network is likening its block of nightly programming to the Turkish bath or Roman orgy of old or the modern day gay bathhouse of San
Francisco. It is a place where men take unto men, women take unto women and outrageous acts of adultery, sodomy and bestiality are engaged in with no regard for the WORD OF GOD and Cartoon Network is putting all of this into a form with mass appeal to our children.

the show “Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law” (a part of this tasteless programming block), the characters of Race and Dr. Quest from the demonized cartoon “Johnny Quest” wage a gay custody battle! To the
worldly this is just comedy. Just light entertainment. But the Christian must always be vigilant against the assault on THE TRUTH taking the form of deceitful distractions. First the Sodomite conspiracy gets the masses of Americans to LAUGH at the homosexual, which results in a TRIVIALIZING OF SIN, which then results in TOLERANCE and ACCEPTANCE of all manner of UNLAWFUL ACTS!

Sodomite conspiracy?


Unless there is money to made by turning everyone gay--and seeing as you'd create substantially less consumers that would appear to be counter-productive, I have a real hard time buying into the notion of a sodomite conspiracy. Moreover more and more homosexuals are steering clear of organized gay Rights movements---To Brother Cletus (I shit you not!) I suggest reading :

Androphilia: Rejecting the Gay Identity, Reclaiming Masculinity

written by Church of Satan Priest and all around great guy, Jack Malebranche. (His blog is listed in my link section, as well.) Brother Cletus might find out one day that he can be gay and not be faggy, and even more, that it will not effect a single hetero couple's marriage if other folks are allowed to get married, too.

Recently I prohibited most cartoon from our household. I find anime to be the worst. I am convinced this is Japan's revenge for Hiroshima. They are planning to turn our kids into automatons with big eyes, reduced vocabularies, and a conviction that bottle caps or "ballz" are effective weapons in a crisis.

Much as I enjoy The Family Guy, The Simpsons, and South Park, plainly there are parents who are too stupid to know that just because something is a cartoon does not make it appropriate for kids. The sexuality and the lack of respect towards elders is not a lesson one wants to instill in pre-teens.

The super hero cartoons are just too redundant and liberally based for me to feel good about. It is a sad state of affairs when I think Dexter would be a better role model than Spiderman!

There is one thing I am certain of. These Christians want to take away the freedom of parents to choose. For those who are so against communism and socialism they seem to want an awful lot of government intervention/baby sitting.

(The WB thinks kids should wrestle at school. I caught my little ones putting on masks and punching each other while watching this one... a violent and repulsive cartoon!)

Caught them, Huh? How did it get that far?

It is our responsibility as parents to utilize all the wonderful tools available: TV Guide. Parental Controls/Channel Blocks. Rating Systems. Computer reviews.

There is no excuse for "catching" them. No matter what your religious leaning is no one but you can control what your child watches.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Jeez, Louise!

I used to be really big on cultural relativity. I mean it seemed perfectly reasonable that different places and cultures would have different values and that it was presumptuous of us nasty Westerners to expect others to be like us.

I have grown up.

In many ways, food, know, shit that doesn't really matter, relativity is cool. It is also cool as an explanation, if not so cool for an excuse.

BUT JEEZ LOUISE! What is wrong with people??!!

Jamaica and South Africa obviously need to get a fucking Barnes & Noble and get with the reading!

Look, we don't need to educate people about Satanism in that goody-goody. kumbaya sort of way so that we Satanists are understood. We need to educate Christian clergy to stop creating Devil Worshipers!

I am completely serious. If these articles are any indication it seems that heavy metal, or Marilyn Manson is not to blame, here. It is these traditional ministers and politicians who are living in 1989 and are playing John Lithgow in Footloose! Not surprisingly kids, malcontents, anyone breathing must find their stories of Satanism ten times more interesting than anything else these people could possibly have to say. Then, BINGO! Devil worshipers.

I wrote to the Jamaica dude:

What you are describing is not Satanism, but actually Christian Heresy, a form of Devil Worship wherein the offender believes in the Holy Bible/Jesus/God/The Devil, but is disenchanted and opts to support the anti-hero.

This particular form of Heresy is born when Christian clergy, through ignorance and fear, refuse to become properly educated about Satanism, and then tell their followers these urban myths about what they think Satanism is. To the angry, the bored, these tales are much more exciting than traditional Christianity--and, in the real world, what Satanism actually is.

The Satanic Bible prohibits sacrifice of any kind. There is no ritual in legitimate Satanism that demands blood, ever. The Church of Satan does not allow minors to join or attend rituals, and the Church of Satan does not actively recruit. Satanism demands study, not worship. Satanism is atheism, using the figure of Satan as a metaphor.

In other words, Jamaica would be a safer place if more people were aware that Satanism in reality is far different from the thing their clergy people are attempting to frighten their followers over. If they knew the truth much fewer would be interested: Most people are not ready for the personal responsibility that comes with rejecting all notions of gods and devils. Most people long to thank God, and blame the devil for all things, instead of facing life with the complete knowledge that they alone are responsible for their own lives.

There are not all that many genuine Satanists in the world. The Church of Satan is proud to have been their home for over 44 years. However, every day Christian clergy create more devil worshiping heretics with their ignorance, their tall tales, and their lack of familiarity with the truth.

Magistra Ygraine
Church of Satan*****************************************

I'd like to think "Well! I told them," but I am sure if they could have been rational already, they would have been.

Sometimes it is hard to remember we even share the same planet.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

RFS Presents: The Culture Cauldron with Lady Ygraine

Coming soon to Radio Free Satan:

One part eye of newt, two parts The Satanic Bible, a pinch of decadence and a dash of whimsy…bring to a boil, bubble, toil and trouble, then VIOLA! The Culture Cauldron with Lady Ygraine.. Join Church of Satan Magistra and infamous witch Lady Ygraine as she explores the Satanic lifestyle through travel, dining, music, film, fashion, media and all things that demonstrate the Satanic aesthetic in the day to day lives of today's Satanists. The Culture Cauldron brings discussions, reviews, interviews and useful information for Satanists to achieve and maintain their total environments, as well as exploring a veritable who is who in Satanism! Get ready faithful RFS listeners, because Ygraine is already in the kitchen, and it won't be long before the cauldron is up to a boil.........."

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Misinformation Never Stops

A response to this claptrap:

Betty Freauf and

November 4, 2008

Dear Mrs. Freauf,

I am a member of the Priesthood and an official spokesperson for The Church of Satan ( which you mention in today's article Two Steps Forward, One Step Back.

Our Church is mentioned here:

The unconstitutional 16th Amendment which was not ratified sufficiently by the states created the present-day income tax structure opening the way for Uncle Sam to pilfer in still greater amounts. It was a busy year indeed for malevolent conspirators who hoped to eventually rule the world. One of the first things the IRS did was offer the 501c3 tax exemption to foundations and to churches of all stripes from the Biblically based to the Church of Satan. Of course, they weren’t worried about the Church of Satan because the IRS was an agent of the devil to destroy every Christian and to muzzle pastors making them into milquetoast. Early pastors never relied on the collection plate for a living. They preached the word of God on Sundays and worked another job during the week. The tax-exempt status made preaching into a career.


As you choose to use us as an example, and evidently did little research before doing so, we felt you might want to know a few salient facts that were neglected in your article.

Although we are legally able to seek and utilize tax exempt status as a fully incorporated religious institution, The Church of Satan pays it's taxes. We believe all churches should be taxed and as a result we lead by example, and pay ours. This fact is part of our Five Point Pentagonal Revisionism plan, easily found on our website, in our literature, in The Encyclopedia of American Religion, and in Blanche Barton's authoritative book The Church of Satan.

It is amusing, and somewhat sad, that you use us as an example and evidently felt no inclination to do even the most cursory research, thus calling into question the rest of the article's validity. One must wonder if The Church of Satan alone is worthy of your disrespect, or whether everything you write is equally lacking in honest reporting?

Stranger still is the assumption that The Church of Satan is somehow in disagreement with the the conservative values you espouse. While the Church of Satan has a strict policy of not having an official political stance, the vast majority of our members are quite conservative by any accepted standard. We are pro-law and order, pro personal responsibility, and as religion that hails the individual, Communism is anathema to us.

Therefore you can see why it would be so frustrating for our members to see an article like yours that paints us in a political/bureacratic libureaucraticuld not be farther from reality.

Finally, simply for the benefit of education, you should know that the Church of Satan does not worship the devil, or any other sort of supernatural/divine/external entity. Much like Catholics use wine and wafers to symbolize the blood and body of Christ, Satanists use Satan as a metaphor for the self---he who will not kneel before any God. To say we worship the devil is akin to saying Catholics are cannibals.

Satanists are atheists who have accepted the human need for religion in the form of fellowship, ritual and dogma, while rejecting the need for God as being irresponsible and weak. Devil worship is a form of Christianity---a Christian heresy where the Christian essentially believes the Bible and its mythos, but is angry and opts to support the bad guy. Theistic devil worshippers are the result of Christian churches glamorizing and lying about true Satanism, and refusing to actually read and learn about our religion. If they did they'd find a religion that certainly is not for everybody (we do not proselytize nor attempt to convert) but one that refuses to break the laws of man, opposes all forms of child and animal abuse, and demands that each Satanist is completely responsible for his/her actions: No devil to blame, no God to thank.

It would be a pleasant surprise if you would correct your article by making it clear that unlike virtually every other church in America, The Church of Satan proudly pays it's taxes.

Thank you,


Magistra Ygraine Gidney-Mitchell (

Church of Satan

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