Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Wicked Witch for Hire

New 2019 Price List for Services

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses to Having Increased Her Prices for the First Time in 5 Years! 

Wicked Witch for Hire/2019 Price List

Existing clients will pay their previous rates through February.

Monday, October 29, 2018

On Rattles, Adaptation, and Kindness

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses to Being Kind
Because the Status Quo is to Be Cruel

*Usual Disclaimer that the Church of Satan has an intentional policy of not having a specific political position on any-damn-thing, meaning my statements regarding the current Administration are mine, alone.

Below you'll find a post by a CoS Priestess, Reverend Gardner,  who apparently woke up this morning, just like me, so utterly appalled at what is going on in the Country that she had to 'write it out.'  My piece is a little different, but I remain confident that the message is the same--

Want to live a happy, productive life?  Don't be a mean asshole, and try to understand where others are coming from.  If that needs to be put in a Satanic context kindly look up the Satanic Sins of Solipsism, and regarding Past Orthodoxies.

A few days back on twitter I read a post where a black woman was trying to explain the Megyn Kelly blackface thing.  Kelly's lucky she has the smarts to mix her hair dye, so I doubt the logic would effect  her, but what has stayed with me ever since was this woman saying "Isn't it enough that we're telling you that it hurts us?"

So simple, yet so intense and meaningful.

I hate any impediment to free speech.  I don't feel good about blaming the language and words of one person to the actions of another, but then again, I never watched my Country turn into a rage filled clusterfuck before, led by a demented sociopath who thinks life is a reality show, either.  Validation comes from the top down.  If the leader demonstrates something, the weak will emulate, believing it will make them strong.  A bunch of dead Jews, some of whom lived through the Holocaust, prove this life lesson.  When the crazy have a leader who is legitimized, they act as if their beliefs have been legitimized.  Trump killed no one. In the end the killer is the responsible party, but if Trump hadn't proudly proclaimed Nationalism?  Hadn't called the KKK 'very fine people'?  Hadn't used the watchword 'Globalism' which has been co-opted by Jewish conspiracy theorists?  Well, we'll never know, but it is really safe to say it doesn't PREVENT such horrifying actions.

If I say to a friend or loved one "Hey, when you say that it hurts me," I anticipate that they care enough to stop saying whatever caused me discomfort. It doesn't matter if the offending statement/word means something different to the speaker, or that it wasn't meant in the way perceived by the listener.  If it hurts, it hurts, and unless hurting them is the intent, why do it?

Words have meaning.  There are times I WANT to hurt, but if, in a silly attempt to prove I am not overly PC or a SJW I use words that hurt, when I want to use them for attack purposes, they become watered-down versions of themselves.  I like my knives sharp.

Proving I am above this sort of thing by casually using words that hurt people proves nothing more than I am stuck in a paradigm that no longer works for that purpose.  More importantly, if I want to be heard I must find a way that doesn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Last of all--on rattlesnakes:  It has never been more important for free speech to be absolutely free.  Does this seem in contradiction to what I have just written?  No.  Smart people adapt.  Stupid, dangerous, cruel people don't.  I want to know where the rattlesnakes are, and to do that I need to hear the rattles.  So, my beloved Satanic friends, prove we haven't fallen victim to conformity of intentional non-conformity by hurting people who have done us no wrong, and by allowing the snakes the exposure only their rattles can accomplish.  

Be kind until someone gives you a reason not to be kind.  Consider if your anger at an individual or small group demands a response that will create collateral damage to those you don't even know.  Use the rattles of the rattlesnakes to avoid or fight, as you see fit.

From Reverend Gardner:

On the way to work I was listening to a radio show, that featured a snippet on a black couple in Mississippi, who “dared” to go vote, and thus lost their jobs and their livelihoods, were blacklisted, were harassed by authorities, and had white supremacists, doing drive by shootings to their homes.
And it got me thinking, because it’s a long ass drive into work.
People then, and people now, are fighting. Basic rights, basic respect, and the same chance to make or break it in life, WITHOUT the weight of bigotry to cripple them.
There is a such thing as social privilege in this country. The rich, the white male, white people and straight men. These are your major privileged classes. Yeah, “privilege” is a dirty ass word, but it’s real. It’s not about a bunch of wanna be “victims” who want to be coddled, making this up to make excuses. It’s reality.
I didn’t grow up wealthy. I worked hard for what little I had. I also faced a lot of bullshit when I was young. As a woman working with men, who HATED that I could stock shelves as fast as they could. They would speed up purposefully, give me the heaviest shit. This would not be the first or last time my gender meant disrespect, though it has changed since the 90’s.
There was a time where I arrogantly said things like the “concept privilege is bullshit,” despite the fact that I had been the victim of someone else’s.
That said, if it was easy for me to have been such an arrogant ass, how much easier is it for those in the higher echelons of privilege?
Apparently easy.
Easy enough to turn words that should carry respect and a sense of strength and progress : “social justice warrior” “victims rights advocate” “victim” and movements such as #metoo and #blacklivesmatter into, weak crybabies, who would have it better if they wanted it better, if they weren’t liars, criminals, and frauds, and would just move, or just find a better job, maybe just “work harder.”
There are and always will be people with behavioral or mental issues, who will lie for attention, who will be extremists, who will take things to far. Those are the people that often get the most of the attention they seek, from detractors willing give it to them, just so they can point and say: “ see! This small handful of loonies invalidates your whole movement and its message!”
These same people either disbelieving that there is a culture of bigotry based privilege in this country, while also calling those fighting for their rights to have the same playing field “weak” or “whiny” or other derogatory, should stop, and just for one moment, consider who the real “weak” ones are.
Is it weak to fight to assert, that you and those that advocate your cause, deserve the same BASIC FREEDOMS as everyone else? Is it too much to ask for the authorities, such as the police and government institutions, to have ACCOUNTABILITY in how they treat and handle all people?
Is it weak to stand up, after years of suffering, and point the finger at your sexual abuser or rapist?
Is it really weak to want to wear what you want, fuck or marry any other consenting adult you want, and use the bathroom of the gender you present to the world, without being harassed, threatened, beaten, or killed?
I will tell you what is weak.
Weakness is having all of the advantage in the world, and not looking at some one who is different from you, and saying:
“This blatant ignorance, I want YOU to have the same opportunities I do, on the same level playing field, where we all pass or fail based on our own talents and efforts..... NOT because of your Nationality, religion or lack of one, race, gender, sexual preference, disability, etc. I do not WANT YOU to have to fight twice as hard, simply because you are not the majority, because I have NOTHING to fear from your success. Your success does not belittle, nor challenge mine. Your success does not scare me.”
Bullies are not strong people. Calling protest intrinsically “wrong,” or pretending that privilege and bias don’t exist, is not strong. Following a cult of Political parties (either side) no matter what the leaders do or say is not strong.
Strength is forged in the fires of being treated as less than, being forced to see that those in power THINK you are less than. It’s forged in the hearts of every person, afraid to walk alone, afraid of the police, afraid to use a bathroom, or openly love their partner. It’s forged on the deaths and the tears of their loved ones..... deaths that happened, not on accident, nor of fault of the deceased... but because that person was born a woman, or black, or poor, or gay.
Strength is also forged when those who have power, join forces with those who do not.
Progress, and opportunity benefit is ALL in the long run. Everyone having an equal chance to make it or break it, benefits is ALL. How many brilliant, talented, intelligent people have existed in silence, or have been looked over, simply because accident of birth caused them to be?
Humans have evolved so little emotionally and mentally. At this point it would be a given, that we could live and let live, so long as none are harmed... but this is not the case. Even those among us that are considerably intelligent, fall for their bias, and lack of acceptance of the concept that just because YOU do not like certain things, want to live a certain way, or have a certain life experience, that this does NOT mean that another person’s is invalid.
Hell, even I fell for that inner rhetoric.
Don’t be a victim of it.

Friday, October 5, 2018



Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses to Being a Coward

    In recent months I have been told how pointless being concerned about politics is.  I have heard thinking people say things I disagree with on an idealistic and principled level.  I have heard friends say things that have hurt, albeit unintentionally.  Despite maintaining an even fairness in responses and maintaining the guidelines of my beloved Church of Satan, I never felt I was compromising my values or ethics.
     In the last 48 hours I have felt, for the first time in my life, like those who told me it doesn't matter, were right.  I feel defeated.  Kavanaugh is just the symptom.  His winning a seat on the Court, to me, and to anyone who values a woman's right to control her body, is tragic, but not emotionally or legally insurmountable.  It would normally be the kind of challenge I would relish.  I'd don a cape, swoop in and die on the hill for my belief, a la Anne Frank, that people are basically good.
    Like most of my compatriots I do a lot of joking about "triggers."  I am opposed, at a fundamental level,to the notion that anyone can control your psyche with words.  That said, I also must contend with a rather unpleasant montage of personal and family issues that are leaving me on emotionally shaky footing.  In other words, I can't be sure if I was already fucked to the point of breaking, or whether recent events have just knocked me down.  I do know I started crying a while ago and now I can't stop.
     In a truly cowardly way I have used a victim I know to attack many of the #Me, too 's champions for taking NDA money.  I don't regret the attack.  Taking money without prosecuting or suing is wrong, because it allows the abusers more victims.  I regret that I lack the courage to tell my story, and have allowed others for 40 years to identify as survivors while I kept my mouth shut..
     Because I am not a "survivor."  My attack changed me forever.  I never "worked through it," or used it for the betterment of a movement, or even to console friends that they weren't alone.  And I'm not done being a pussy, either.  Maybe the night terrors I've endured for 40 years have become a part of me.  Maybe my needs, to know everything about psychology, sociology, interpersonal dynamics, and even espionage, are all big fat fronts to avoid.  I'm not going to share, even now.  I can't.
    Regardless of that, watching our President, accused of 19 incidents and probably the most vocal pussy grabber who voices his incest fetish in the history of ever, ridicule a victim--well, despite no surprise, still felt like a punch in the gut.  Listening to one rich, white, old, puke after another talk about this "poor man" has made me....not mad.  I'm past mad.  I'm.....deflated, defeated, and lost.
     I remember that as a kid I thought by the year 2000 we'd all be the Jetson's.  After my attack when I was barely 15, I was certain that feminism, that men abusing women, would certainly be done before I kicked the bucket, and my granddaughters, if not my daughters, would be safe.  I was wrong about the Jetson's and I am wrong about sexual assault.  The actions/voices  of my government has proved to me that we will never be safe.  The repugnant women telling their daughters that being groped is no big deal are the powerful collaborators for the abusers of the future.  How can you fight against other women?
     I don't understand.  Doesn't everyone have a Mother, a Sister, a Wife, a Daughter, a Friend who is female?  How can it be right, politically or socially, to mock those who have suffered so much?  Is it solipsism or sexism or straight up psychopathy en masse?  All the research in the world doesn't answer those questions when every voice that controls everything from the speed limit, to whether we go to war, to the amount of taxes you pay, tells you that you don't matter.  Your pain is negated for another great man to ascend 
     We must watch out for our sons lest the evil women make false accusations.
     Eve ate from the tree of knowledge and we all suffer for that original sin.
     I'd like to end this by saying I'll come out swinging, like I always do.  I think, though, that is a lie.  I never dreamed my country would behave this way, and I am certain I don't understand the rules, anymore.  I want to find the deepest hole, and crawl in it with my shame, and cowardice, and regret.  I don't want to watch another generation suffer, and for the first time, in an awful long time, I feel powerless.  

Monday, February 19, 2018

Drum Roll, Please.............

The 4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Is......

Wherein the Wicked Witch Welcomes One of Her Favorite People
to the Ranks of the Wickedest of Witches!

Hail, Troj Bruegel!
Hail, Satan!

     I should not have to repeat that any of our finalists could easily be seen as an honorable mention.  Each of these women continue to inspire and provide yet another reason to feel pride in Church of Satan affiliation.
     I am requesting those offering those lovely gifts contact Troj directly for sending info, and sending me a pic of them to put up on this blog.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Introducing The Wicked Witches

Wicked Witches of the Year

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses She Is In Such Awe She is Rendered Stupid

During this year's process, I monkeyed about with the format only to discover that in an attempt to make less work, I made more work. That is ok, 'live and learn. What hasn't changed, and in fact has only grown, is my admiration for the women in the Church of Satan .
I have spent weeks trying to find a way to say what I really feel, which is that every single one of the women in this blog deserve to win this big pile of nothing but genuine respect and admiration.
The next task, made more difficult by a recent crappy medical diagnosis (fuck you, Murphy, and everyone who looks like you!) was trying to make everything look "equal" despite the fact that I myself asked for essays long enough to convey the year's personal achievements credited to applied Satanism. Some are a line. Some are pages long. All are exquisite examples Satanic/Wicked Witchery.
I discovered, reading these essays, more proof that Satanism is innate. Several of these witches actually state outright, and others allude to the fact that they no longer have to think about Satanism to use it. It is a sort of sense memory, no longer an idea, but an idea manifested.
If I had more time I might edit these essays, but considering all the time and love put into them, I would feel like I was mutilating these honest expressions. Some of them are written by friends or loved ones, and I find them particularly interesting, from the outside, looking in.

Delilah Astarte

 How, in 2017, I Utilized Satanism to Achieve My Personal Goals by Delilah Astarte

 Privet, (that's "hello"  in Russian in case you are not familiar). One of my online monikers is Delilah Astarte, and that is who I will introduce you to today.  Yes, I am absolutely pleased to meet you too, even if briefly (giggles).  Base line: Introvert, yet have extrovert adventuresome tendencies at the most interesting times.   Determined, stubborn, and hard-headed as a bull. Independent Partner & Lover to a select Few and then some. I homeschool TEENAGERS, work many business projects and put business ideas into action, ... these are simply a peek into my visually chaotic world on the outside, yet orderly interesting world in the inside, that I've weaved for myself in my kingdom.

 I'll introduce you to my interests and we can go from there.  Ever since I was a wee little Delilah, I've always been quite intrigued with all things space-related, learning about ancient civilizations (Sumerians, Egyptians, Vikings, etc.), and reading/writing. I have been gifted with a creative, abstract mind and have been deeply delving into that the past year. One of the short stories I am working on has hints of these ancient civilizations too!  I am excited to be getting these going to share with those who are interested, and hopefully, that is many, many, many people in the world. :)
  When I was younger in my teen years, I went through trauma, (sexual abuse, rape, and physical abuse).  That lead me to have PTSD and anxiety. I have indeed promised myself that it was time to get on the track and start choo-choo'in away. I've been implementing my plans to get a lot of my ideas off the ground, to quit procrastinating (which I am extremely good at btw - *Wink*), and get the Delilah momentum rolling like a sailboat smoothly floating on the ocean, and overcoming obstacles and bad weather. This has led me to isolate myself much more than usual to concentrate on the things that make me happy and bring me joy, as well as implement self-care techniques that I have learned in my therapy sessions.  I deal with a lot of people throughout my week, and some are just, no. Simply NO. We've all been there I'm sure. Sometimes dealing with the herd is not the most pleasant thing, but if you can turn situations to your favor then it's worth it. I have definitely done that more than not.

Witch Troj Bruegal:

Howdy Magista!

Thanks again for the nomination. Always a privilege.

This year, my major achievement was completing my internship and my dissertation and finally nabbing that Ph.D. after 7 long years of blood, sweat, and tears.

As we speak, I'm working on starting my own therapy private practice, planning some long-term research projects, and working on my writing. Mainly, I've just been working on recovering my energy and drive after the long slog.

To be honest, I haven't really considered the role Satanism has played in helping me to jump these hurdles. I think I've assimilated the philosophy enough to where I just do what feels right or what needs to be done. 

I will think about Satanism when I'm plotting a strategy that involves the use of Lesser Magic, when I've decided that it's time to employ Greater Magic, or when I'm thinking about how I or someone else has fallen prey to one of the Sins. I certainly sneak aspects of Satanism into my work with my clients, without necessarily using the same terms.

That's all I can think of offhand! May the best witch win!

Renee Caputa- Anderson

Hello Magistra!

Normally I would take a bit more time in putting something like this together but I start my job in 2 weeks and have a handful of things that I need to get done before that happens. I shoulda/woulda/coulda done more to this, but I'm starting to feel the pressure of time slipping away. Taxes are taking precedence, I'm so sorry to say! Anywho, here you have it!

I don't do essays. This will be more of letter to a friend, if you will.

I understand the request of accomplishments and how Satanism was used and positively affected the outcome, however, I have to admit that 90% of the time, I don't realize that it's happening. I've become so adept that it's become an everyday practice. We do find time to practice Greater Magic as we feel it's important and has very direct results in acquiring the things that we want in life.

I could list my yearly accomplishments:
Elected President of Magna Town Council
Named Honorable Mention in 2016 Wicked Witch of the Year
Finished our final Inkathon with a record-breaking year
Held our annual Halloween In Summer Festival at an all-time high
Became a "Calendar Girl"
Made new financial/longterm personal goals
Secured job of choice to attain above goals

But I think my biggest achievement happened within myself. Maybe it was through will, maybe it's evolution, I can't really put my finger on it. But I know that it happened early in 2017. Could be because we dubbed 2017 "the year of change" and we both meant it. My youngest daughter turned 19 last year. All I've ever known is raising kids. From the time I was 17. I didn't put much thought into myself or what I wanted and needed. I lived for my girls. There were certain aspects of my life that I slowly started to dedicate to myself as they got older but it finally hit me smack in the face when our youngest graduated high school. Who was I? What was I doing with my life? Could we ever really retire with NO financial freedom? I got scared. I had to come up with a plan that was foolproof and fast! Time was ticking. I'm 46 and not getting any younger. Life was fun and we lived it for ourselves but put more into what others wanted than into what we wanted. Last year that all started to change. I became selfish. My kids all live on their own and do well. The community would do just fine without us. So little by little, I started to step away from the things that had been taking time from me and giving very little return.

I decided early on that I would only serve one term as President of the Magna Town Council. And while I was serving that term I eliminated corruption that had been happening. We decided that it was going to be the final year of our annual Inkathon and it is one that will be talked about for years to come. In the process of "simplifying" our lives we talked heavily about retirement and getting out of Salt Lake (there are many reasons for this).

It was decided that the only real way to achieve that was through a second income. Now, I'm certainly not one to want to work for "the man", so in talking about it we tossed around many ideas. None of which would work for us and fit our more immediate goals. I held out, I applied for only a few jobs, but ultimately knew what it was that I wanted. Obviously, being a Mail Carrier is not the most glamorous of jobs, but it pays well, has great benefits, a retirement package, and most importantly, I'll essentially be on my own the majority of the day. And, I can take it anywhere in the Country! Am I qualified for the job? Hell no! Who is that hasn't delivered mail before? But I wanted it, so I went and got it. It took time, patience, changing our lifestyle, a background check, drug test, fingerprints, another background check, and having to explain to everyone around us why I was doing what I was doing. I don't give a rat's ass about what others think I should be doing. My Husband is my biggest supporter, he's my best friend, he's my hero, my idol, and he's been carrying the load for far too long. It was time that I lessen that for him. I don't care what the community thinks and I don't care what the Artists at the shop think.

I just want to briefly touch on the calendar. It almost came as a surprise to myself. I saw the post and commented on it. Didn't give it any thought at all. This isn't something I would have done even a year ago. It's not my style. But again, the Year of Change. I'm so glad I did it. I love the photo and I'm proud of myself for going outside my comfort zone. I want to experience new things. Life can be so boring doing the same things everyday.

The festival was enormous. Bigger than 2016. We had 2 major Sponsors. A local car dealership and Warner Bros. Enough said.

I also changed my wardrobe. Since feeling like I'm becoming a different person on the inside, possibly more mature, I felt that it was important to reflect that on the outside. I knew that I would never truly become The Compleat Witch without really looking the part. While it will take time to fully stock my wardrobe of choice, it is certainly on the way to being what I want it to be.

Finally, my proudest moment of 2016. I know it was technically an accomplishment for 2015 but it happened in 2016. I was named an Honorable Mention for Wicked Witch of the Year. Just having been nominated with so many beautiful women was enough for me. Then I was named an Honorable Mention and it moved me to tears. Sure, I'm smart, funny, sexy as hell, and an all-around great gal, but the things that you said about me really got to me. I think knowing how you feel about me really kick-started my year and gave me the boost that I was waiting for to finally get off the pot and make it all about me. I AM Goddess of my own World and nobody is going to make me happier than I can ultimately make myself. So the Year of Change happened.

Heather Height

I apologize for procrastinating but it's what I do best. 

How, in 2017,  I  Utilized Satanism to Achieve My Personal Goals 

When faced with the question of how I have used Satanism to get closer to my goals, I realized that all of my resources in 2017 have been used to help friends and family reach their goals. Honestly, I almost took a pass this round because I was, quite frankly, embarrassed. But I realized that I was responding to my presumption that others feel the roles we play as wife, mother and friend are not as valuable in a satanic sense as tending to ones own best interest. Which ultimately means that I was downplaying the value of what I do for others. So this introspection has been very helpful, and I thank you for that. 
That being said, I will tell you one of the things that I did to help someone else, my husband David, get closer to a goal that is mainly his. This year we were given the opportunity to create our first full length adult film. My part in sealing the deal involved a meeting with studio heads where I put on my best business casual dominatrix persona and did a lot of leg crossing and leaning in while we all discussed the details. I took over set design, the writing of the treatment, script, shoot schedule and, consequently, had first choice on casting. With responsibility comes power if you do it right. In order for the studio to distribute our film we needed to incorporate. So, once again, I took on the responsibility of making our little film business a corporation, awarding myself with the titles of VP, treasurer and secretary. Alright, so, maybe I did do a lil something for myself. *wink wink* 

Cimminnee Holt

So I get this email from Cmminnee, who is one of my favorite people--I kind of see her as a smarter, younger, more directed version of me, which i guess means I am nothing like her at all...dammit.  Anyway, there is a paper attached to the email which has “DO NOT CIRCULATE” stamped all over it because it is awaiting publication.  ‘Academic like stuff.  So I am mad.

I am mad because this paper is really, really good and I hope that one day it will be de riguer for it to be posted on legit Satanic sites so newcomer’s can both learn and experience the achievement of another amazing witch.

On the flip side, until I can post the whole thing, what can I say about this witty, brilliant, and beautiful witch? She is a an academic, obviously, she keeps olives too long and her cat is her teaching assistant. Fuck it.  Take my word, this is a witty, brilliant, and beautiful witch who was on the short list from the word go.

PS: I can’t wait to replace this brief bit with that amazing paper!

Marlene Hunter

Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Marlene Shaw and I’m a Satanic Witch.
I’ve been in a relationship with my now husband for over 22 years. We have come to define our marriage with the saying “like a fine wine” for it only becomes more smooth and rich over time and has evolved into the most meaningful relationship I could have ever desired.  I became a mother at a very young age. At times, it still astonishes me how beautiful inside and out my daughters are.  I’d like to think that my life experiences have provided me with great skills for raising wonderful children, however, I realized that it was my ability to see them as individuals and not a reflection of myself, that truly allowed them to grow into the amazing women they are today and who and what they will be in the future. If being a caring, fierce, empowering, supportive wife and mother were the only two areas I ever felt accomplished in my life, this would be completely and honorably acceptable as I feel there is no greater fulfillment on Earth.  Your loved ones are the people you immortalize and who will immortalize you. That in itself is a Satanic triumph.   

     How I used Satanism to Achieve my Personal Goals

When a person conceptualizes what it may be to claim the title of a Satanic Witch, perhaps many ideals will come to mind.  A witch may expose a plethora of characteristics or actions that may range from being mysterious, to domineering, to even down right confusing, however, the craftiest witch will influence the world around her strategically and stately.  Not every Satanist’s journey in life is the same, nor what is considered of the utmost importance. That’s why we may agree that understanding what the essential motivating factor for an individual is, is the key to understanding their success.  With the application of Satanism, the two most vital aspects of the previous year have been, my career advancement and artistic pursuits.

Career Advancement
I have worked in the medical field for eighteen years now.  I was quite young and certainly inexperienced, as most people are when embarking on a new career.  The only position available was for an entry level office assistant, but hey, you have to start somewhere right? I quickly learned all I could to strengthen my skills and increase the need for me to be a valuable asset to the company.  Knowing exactly where you “fit in” is crucial as it gives you the upper-hand to control the  power you possess over others. I continued to increase my knowledge by any means necessary, which at times included having to be on the receiving end of a miserable, old hag’s wrath.  With the application of both lesser and greater magic, I eventually rose to the top and became the highest, most valuable employee in the company.  Many years later the Physician retired which resulted in the closure of the Practice.  Months later I acquired another great position but on a much lower pay scale.  I was a newbie to the clinic and had to prove my true potential, however, my best work does not come cheap and when I see an opportunity for advancement I will stop at nothing to make it happen.  So in 2017, after a few months of being at this new company, I studied by boss’s behavior and quickly realized exactly the way I needed to present myself in order to produce and conclude what it was I desired. I not only created a new position, I created a new department within the company. I had convinced my manager that this was extremely vital for the future of the company. I’m the head of this department and with new responsibility comes higher wages. I received a 20% increase in my salary and a shiny, new career title. As you see, experience and knowledge is quintessential for advancement. Both experience and skill does not come easily and requires hard work with years of practice.  You might even say such action like this is quite exemplary of a Satanist.   

Artistic Pursuits

Photography has been a passion of mine for many years.  It simultaneously provides me with the satisfaction of being creative while allowing expression that is, well…a form of catharsis.  Over the previous year I have developed an increase of clients.  I’d have to include here that when it comes to providing a service for someone that is entirely elective, it requires a lot of patience.  These types of jobs are primarily based upon “wants” and not “needs”. It requires the ability to feed the ego of another while appearing not to be. This is challenging for me a times because I’m the type of person that will reserve a compliment or comment if I feel it is not deserving.  However, the greater result of obtaining more practice and future funds, sometimes outweighs the foundation of my own morals.  Let’s be practical here, a little deception can be quite useful for a Witch.  
The art of expression quickly grew into a love for film.  So with this passing year, the husband and I have decided to start up our own film company. We’ve been aiding in several short films and projects. Recently, we landed a huge opportunity to film commercials and do still photography for a restaurant/bar. This is extremely exciting as it will be a monthly gig, not just a one time deal.  In addition to this new venture, there is an astronomical film project of immortalizing some members of the Church of Satan that is finally underway. Even though this idea was developed shortly after the 50th Anniversary conclave event, toward the end of this year, steps have been taken to move forward on this project.

In summary, I think it’s relevant to remember that a truly productive Satanist strives to have several activities or plans in the works, in addition to what other matters may present throughout their lives.  It may be foolish to think situations happen in some sort of predestined notion, but not everything in life is chosen. I’ve been battling my own health issues lately but I refuse to let it get me down or hold me back. You see, it’s how I take responsibility to move forward and to make little excuses as possible.  That is a pertinent part of what Satanism means to me and I’ve been applying it throughout my entire life. Satanic philosophy allows me to truly express my individuality and provides me with the tools to conquer whatever person, place, or thing I so choose. Never under estimate the power of a Satanic witch and if one thinks they have, they’ve already been beguiled by the magic of witchery.     

Little Nikki

A long time ago, and I mean a really long time ago (we’re talking 1970’s, here), I was surrounded by Playboy Magazine: the superb donor’s garage had centerfolds tacked up all over it amidst Snap-On Tool calendars, the place my mom and I got our hair cut (Love Cutters, the name alone just reeks of the 70’s...) had Playboy’s strewn across the coffee table in the waiting room, and as I waited for my mom to be done, I would always flip through them.  These women were beautiful, their bodies awed me.  

Then the 80’s happened, I hit puberty, and I waited to turn into one of those women...and while I waited, one night while visiting the sperm donor and his family, I stood in the garage, still decorated with centerfolds, talking to my stepmom and my supercool, older stepsister who actually let me hang out with her and her friends in the mall (!!!), and I saw them, and I saw the centerfolds, and it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.  It didn’t happen to them, and it wasn’t going to happen to me.  That was a horrible blow to my 13 year old mind, and that shit stayed with me for what feels like an eternity.  How would anyone ever find me attractive, I didn’t look like a centerfold.  

Enter early stages of Lesser Magic, where I figured out how to make people like me regardless of my looks, and I honed those skills, have answers, be smart, be funny as fuck, be charming as hell...how could they resist?  As Laurie Cabot failed me (hey, a lot of us had that phase, we were searching and had no idea what we were searching for...) as easily as my mother’s Catholicism had, until one day at Tower Records, sitting on the floor arranging our books section, when something quite literally fell into my lap from a higher shelf.  I read that book with a million yep, yeah, I’ve always thought that’s!  I put the book down and said to myself, I’m a Satanist.  Knowing what I was helped, but I was still having a hard time with the who.

My thirties were easier, I felt more powerful, more comfortable in my skin, started working on my appearance a bit, wanting to look nice for my wedding.  I pursued my desire to replicate a greaser look, the kind of girl Fonzie would date...while many of my steps have helped considerably with making me truly feel like who I knew I was on the inside, there was still the problem of not being a centerfold; I wanted that attention.  Yeah, having folks bow to my will because of my personality was nice, but my inner 13 year old still wanted to be a centerfold, I wanted jaws to drop.  I wanted that whammy, still, 32 years later.

Then it happened, a friend made a post about putting together a horror themed pinup calendar of us Satanic Witches.  All my fear of putting myself out there, all my squishy bits, my tummy, all of me, I threw my glove down and accepted the challenge without any fear; my truly Satanic self completely overrode reason and years of self doubt.  When the time came for my photoshoot, I got ready, and walked around mostly naked with ease In front of someone I had never met.  I let my Lesser Magic skills wash over me, and never looked back.  I’m Miss January, a Satanic pinup and Witch.

HellzJezebelle at you service!

Karen Steur

Karen Steuer’s main application of Satanism is in the form of Lesser Magic; sales promotion as well as continuing to move herself forward.
Years ago she said to hell with the workaday corporate world and started her own soapmaking business and has never looked back. In 2017, the business has expanded almost 20% over the previous year. Many of these types of small businesses don’t last much beyond a year or two, but Karen keeps on improving her product, her knowledge, her skill set and her abilities to sell...and has watched lesser businesses in her area come and go while she enjoys continued success.

She also turned to organizing and producing one of New Hampshire’s largest Farmer’s Markets last year, as well as producing a week long craft fair called the Pop Up Emporium. She attracted 11 new artists to a dying show (after marketing the hell out of the event) and ended up shoving record crowds and sales. Karen’s soaps have also been featured on the cover of NHMade magazine.

Last year Karen spoke to a group of young women as part of an “Inspirational Women in Leadership” program here in NH, where she talked about the particulars of starting her own business, and what she enjoys about it, the difficulties, what she recommend they do to be successful, etc. In addition, Karen moved out of her comfort zone and taught two soapmaking classes at Tangled Roots Herbal in Nashua, New Hampshire.
Karen is a motorcyclist; we enjoy riding trips during the summer, but she had never ridden in the dirt. While in Phoenix last year we found a place that rented dirt bikes and rode in the desert; she was nervous as hell at first but soon said “fuckit” and quickly overcame her fears and ended up having a ball.

Another highlight was when she got up the courage at 50 to appear topless in this year’s “Horrors of the Satanic Witch” calendar with gentle persuasion from her husband, of course…

All that was just in 2017. Karen continues to apply herself and her skills to better her position, achieve her goals, surpass competitors, indulge in her favorite activities and basically enjoy the hell out of life.
Entrepreneur, business owner, biker, wife, cat mom, wicked witch.

Thank you!
Paul Sherman

Misty Tyers

 In 2017 how have I used Satanism in my life? Same as I did in 2016. Okay, okay, I'll try to be a little less of a smart ass and actually write a semi coherent essay for you. My career is the first place that comes to mind where I have the greatest opportunity to apply elements of the philosophy and techniques developed in it. In my career as a barber I daily use and study first hand the elements of Lesser Magic to draw clients to me, keep them coming back, have them referring friends, and to try to get the highest tips possible. Technical skill is one thing, but being able to read the client, know what appeals to them, and to be able to become that for the  for a few minutes  will keep them loyally coming back to me instead of anyone else. My Lesser Magic skills pay my bills and put food on my table.

    I have also produced not only my handmade crafts through my Sataknits page, but also made it in to the third installment of the Devil’s Reign exhibit, was featured in the Bon Appetite horror fiction anthology, took part in  numerous interviews (both within the church and with the public), and appear as Miss June in the Horrors of the Satanic Witch calendar.

    On top of that, 2017 has marked the beginning of my foray into the world of kettlebell sport. After only 2 months of training, I competed AND WON two first place spots in my first tournament. In only a few short months since then I have begun training in a second lift and have progressed up to working with the 12kg bells for both lifts. My trainers (both competitors on the world stage) have expressed amazement at my quick progress, strength, and dedication to kettlebell sport. I hit the training platform each time and push myself as hard as I can to continue improving myself. Lift all of the heavy things! 2018 will be full of more competitions which will give me the opportunity to push my body and strength to new heights.

Jen Westerveldt


Currently under re-construction

Monday, January 15, 2018

Life Outside the Box

Life Outside the Box

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses that she Neither Cares for nor Understands "Normal" People.

Or Maybe They Just Suck?

     Regular listeners, old friends, and readers of mine know that with the exceptions of  dealing with family and Church of Satan functions I haven't been social/out and about for almost a decade.  That changed in July when I determined that being sick and housebound was about as much fun as a lye douche.  My Magister was thrilled to introduce me to new friends, and we  have had a lot of fun.  I've made some truly valuable acquaintances , and I look forward to expanding those into true friendships.  I'm excited about life.  I'm motivated.
     Still, it is hard, when dealing with normal folk, to forget why I isolated myself to begin with.  I have long fought against the idea that anyone's workplace, social group, bar scene, or team somehow has more "drama"  than any other.  My experience is that if there are more than 3 in any grouping of individuals, drama is guaranteed.  It is the handling of said drama that reveals the true nature of the group and the people who form it.
      I am certainly prone to running off half-cocked, shooting off my mouth (or keyboard,) and regretting it. Age hasn't softened that.  If anything I am more apt to "cut a bitch" than I was before.  Life is too short, and I've wasted too much time to take shit from inferiors. Yet, my upbringing has programmed certain social rules that APPEAR to make me look like easy prey.  Evidently courtesy and etiquette are so rare that, when used, they come off as jovial weakness. 
     My manners prevent me from being rude to a guest in another's home.
     My manners and respect for my man prevent me from ever making a scene at his workplace, no matter how much I am goaded.
     My manners demand please and thank you and nice to meet you.
     My manners, however, do nothing to prevent assholes from being assholes.
     I live in a small suburb outside Orlando.  I despise it and am working toward bailing ASAP.  In the interim, however, I fight my own social issues by forcing myself to go out, and mostly these experiences have been enjoyed.  Mostly. 
      Evidently there is some weird social algebraic equation that equals cunty bitches and lying men will take advantage of my politeness in order to provide themselves with drama.
or, more precisely:
      Well Bred Lady + Celebrity Gentleman+ Working Class Watering Holes=Jealous, Brain Damaged Folks Attempting to Divide & Conquer (as if they could even spell those words, let alone understand them.)  I'm guessing this is normal.  It seems so automatic, so transparent, that it must be some evolutionary adaptation for the mediocre (and that is a compliment,) to attempt to upgrade their gene pool.  Unfortunately it pisses me off, and while anger is manageable, the accompanying disappointment and hurt feelings are a bit harder to control.
     I don't have a pithy answer.  I don't know how to deal with someone lying to my face an attempting to get over on me.  I don't understand the kind of jealousy that demands I either abandon my social conventions, or pretend I am blind to amateur manipulations.  This experience has proved to me, yet again, we are different.  We are not like other people who's self-esteem comes from without, rather than within.  Which, I suppose, is a pleasant reminder of why others are jealous at all.
     For MYSELF I won't return to my box.
     Until the day I pull out of this shithole (hey, just quotin') the locals best get used to one polite, gracious, but never forget, WICKED witch.

Saturday, January 6, 2018

4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Nominations and Instructions

4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Nominations and Instructions

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses that
Demanding  25+ Questionnaires Sounds a Bit Too Lock, Step, Lock, to Her,
Bordering on a Kind of Toxic Herd Corporate Feely Thing
She Cannot Justify


Essays, Anyone?

     Once it came to my attention that this process was a colossal pain the ass I consulted my three wise women, blew those ladies off pretty seriously, and made an executive decision. I want an essay per nominee.  The nominee can write it, or have it done by a proxy of her choice.  This is because a few of those who made nominations are hard of reading, and broke rules by nominating some who weren't CoS Members in Good Standing---which has led me to two of my least favorite emotions, the first being humiliation of myself, the second being the need of potentially humiliating someone else. This is not the fault of the nominated witches, and for that reason I will not publicly single anyone out.
Here is what we're gonna do. By January 26th anyone on the list who wishes to accept their nomination should have an essay to me.  I give not a single fuck who writes it.  The theme of the essay is simple as can be:  How, in 2017  I /She Utilized Satanism to Achieve My Personal Goals .  It's complete dreck, I agree, but it does define what I am looking for.  I will not mention anything else regarding the nominees until I list the 13 semi-finalists.
Now, be gone and stop pissing me off!

Essays can be however long it takes to make me buy them.
3 pics would be helpful.
They should be sent to : MagistraY@gmail.com

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 7th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Lizzie Hendrix