Monday, October 29, 2018

On Rattles, Adaptation, and Kindness

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses to Being Kind
Because the Status Quo is to Be Cruel

*Usual Disclaimer that the Church of Satan has an intentional policy of not having a specific political position on any-damn-thing, meaning my statements regarding the current Administration are mine, alone.

Below you'll find a post by a CoS Priestess, Reverend Gardner,  who apparently woke up this morning, just like me, so utterly appalled at what is going on in the Country that she had to 'write it out.'  My piece is a little different, but I remain confident that the message is the same--

Want to live a happy, productive life?  Don't be a mean asshole, and try to understand where others are coming from.  If that needs to be put in a Satanic context kindly look up the Satanic Sins of Solipsism, and regarding Past Orthodoxies.

A few days back on twitter I read a post where a black woman was trying to explain the Megyn Kelly blackface thing.  Kelly's lucky she has the smarts to mix her hair dye, so I doubt the logic would effect  her, but what has stayed with me ever since was this woman saying "Isn't it enough that we're telling you that it hurts us?"

So simple, yet so intense and meaningful.

I hate any impediment to free speech.  I don't feel good about blaming the language and words of one person to the actions of another, but then again, I never watched my Country turn into a rage filled clusterfuck before, led by a demented sociopath who thinks life is a reality show, either.  Validation comes from the top down.  If the leader demonstrates something, the weak will emulate, believing it will make them strong.  A bunch of dead Jews, some of whom lived through the Holocaust, prove this life lesson.  When the crazy have a leader who is legitimized, they act as if their beliefs have been legitimized.  Trump killed no one. In the end the killer is the responsible party, but if Trump hadn't proudly proclaimed Nationalism?  Hadn't called the KKK 'very fine people'?  Hadn't used the watchword 'Globalism' which has been co-opted by Jewish conspiracy theorists?  Well, we'll never know, but it is really safe to say it doesn't PREVENT such horrifying actions.

If I say to a friend or loved one "Hey, when you say that it hurts me," I anticipate that they care enough to stop saying whatever caused me discomfort. It doesn't matter if the offending statement/word means something different to the speaker, or that it wasn't meant in the way perceived by the listener.  If it hurts, it hurts, and unless hurting them is the intent, why do it?

Words have meaning.  There are times I WANT to hurt, but if, in a silly attempt to prove I am not overly PC or a SJW I use words that hurt, when I want to use them for attack purposes, they become watered-down versions of themselves.  I like my knives sharp.

Proving I am above this sort of thing by casually using words that hurt people proves nothing more than I am stuck in a paradigm that no longer works for that purpose.  More importantly, if I want to be heard I must find a way that doesn't throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Last of all--on rattlesnakes:  It has never been more important for free speech to be absolutely free.  Does this seem in contradiction to what I have just written?  No.  Smart people adapt.  Stupid, dangerous, cruel people don't.  I want to know where the rattlesnakes are, and to do that I need to hear the rattles.  So, my beloved Satanic friends, prove we haven't fallen victim to conformity of intentional non-conformity by hurting people who have done us no wrong, and by allowing the snakes the exposure only their rattles can accomplish.  

Be kind until someone gives you a reason not to be kind.  Consider if your anger at an individual or small group demands a response that will create collateral damage to those you don't even know.  Use the rattles of the rattlesnakes to avoid or fight, as you see fit.

From Reverend Gardner:

On the way to work I was listening to a radio show, that featured a snippet on a black couple in Mississippi, who “dared” to go vote, and thus lost their jobs and their livelihoods, were blacklisted, were harassed by authorities, and had white supremacists, doing drive by shootings to their homes.
And it got me thinking, because it’s a long ass drive into work.
People then, and people now, are fighting. Basic rights, basic respect, and the same chance to make or break it in life, WITHOUT the weight of bigotry to cripple them.
There is a such thing as social privilege in this country. The rich, the white male, white people and straight men. These are your major privileged classes. Yeah, “privilege” is a dirty ass word, but it’s real. It’s not about a bunch of wanna be “victims” who want to be coddled, making this up to make excuses. It’s reality.
I didn’t grow up wealthy. I worked hard for what little I had. I also faced a lot of bullshit when I was young. As a woman working with men, who HATED that I could stock shelves as fast as they could. They would speed up purposefully, give me the heaviest shit. This would not be the first or last time my gender meant disrespect, though it has changed since the 90’s.
There was a time where I arrogantly said things like the “concept privilege is bullshit,” despite the fact that I had been the victim of someone else’s.
That said, if it was easy for me to have been such an arrogant ass, how much easier is it for those in the higher echelons of privilege?
Apparently easy.
Easy enough to turn words that should carry respect and a sense of strength and progress : “social justice warrior” “victims rights advocate” “victim” and movements such as #metoo and #blacklivesmatter into, weak crybabies, who would have it better if they wanted it better, if they weren’t liars, criminals, and frauds, and would just move, or just find a better job, maybe just “work harder.”
There are and always will be people with behavioral or mental issues, who will lie for attention, who will be extremists, who will take things to far. Those are the people that often get the most of the attention they seek, from detractors willing give it to them, just so they can point and say: “ see! This small handful of loonies invalidates your whole movement and its message!”
These same people either disbelieving that there is a culture of bigotry based privilege in this country, while also calling those fighting for their rights to have the same playing field “weak” or “whiny” or other derogatory, should stop, and just for one moment, consider who the real “weak” ones are.
Is it weak to fight to assert, that you and those that advocate your cause, deserve the same BASIC FREEDOMS as everyone else? Is it too much to ask for the authorities, such as the police and government institutions, to have ACCOUNTABILITY in how they treat and handle all people?
Is it weak to stand up, after years of suffering, and point the finger at your sexual abuser or rapist?
Is it really weak to want to wear what you want, fuck or marry any other consenting adult you want, and use the bathroom of the gender you present to the world, without being harassed, threatened, beaten, or killed?
I will tell you what is weak.
Weakness is having all of the advantage in the world, and not looking at some one who is different from you, and saying:
“This blatant ignorance, I want YOU to have the same opportunities I do, on the same level playing field, where we all pass or fail based on our own talents and efforts..... NOT because of your Nationality, religion or lack of one, race, gender, sexual preference, disability, etc. I do not WANT YOU to have to fight twice as hard, simply because you are not the majority, because I have NOTHING to fear from your success. Your success does not belittle, nor challenge mine. Your success does not scare me.”
Bullies are not strong people. Calling protest intrinsically “wrong,” or pretending that privilege and bias don’t exist, is not strong. Following a cult of Political parties (either side) no matter what the leaders do or say is not strong.
Strength is forged in the fires of being treated as less than, being forced to see that those in power THINK you are less than. It’s forged in the hearts of every person, afraid to walk alone, afraid of the police, afraid to use a bathroom, or openly love their partner. It’s forged on the deaths and the tears of their loved ones..... deaths that happened, not on accident, nor of fault of the deceased... but because that person was born a woman, or black, or poor, or gay.
Strength is also forged when those who have power, join forces with those who do not.
Progress, and opportunity benefit is ALL in the long run. Everyone having an equal chance to make it or break it, benefits is ALL. How many brilliant, talented, intelligent people have existed in silence, or have been looked over, simply because accident of birth caused them to be?
Humans have evolved so little emotionally and mentally. At this point it would be a given, that we could live and let live, so long as none are harmed... but this is not the case. Even those among us that are considerably intelligent, fall for their bias, and lack of acceptance of the concept that just because YOU do not like certain things, want to live a certain way, or have a certain life experience, that this does NOT mean that another person’s is invalid.
Hell, even I fell for that inner rhetoric.
Don’t be a victim of it.

Friday, October 5, 2018



Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses to Being a Coward

    In recent months I have been told how pointless being concerned about politics is.  I have heard thinking people say things I disagree with on an idealistic and principled level.  I have heard friends say things that have hurt, albeit unintentionally.  Despite maintaining an even fairness in responses and maintaining the guidelines of my beloved Church of Satan, I never felt I was compromising my values or ethics.
     In the last 48 hours I have felt, for the first time in my life, like those who told me it doesn't matter, were right.  I feel defeated.  Kavanaugh is just the symptom.  His winning a seat on the Court, to me, and to anyone who values a woman's right to control her body, is tragic, but not emotionally or legally insurmountable.  It would normally be the kind of challenge I would relish.  I'd don a cape, swoop in and die on the hill for my belief, a la Anne Frank, that people are basically good.
    Like most of my compatriots I do a lot of joking about "triggers."  I am opposed, at a fundamental level,to the notion that anyone can control your psyche with words.  That said, I also must contend with a rather unpleasant montage of personal and family issues that are leaving me on emotionally shaky footing.  In other words, I can't be sure if I was already fucked to the point of breaking, or whether recent events have just knocked me down.  I do know I started crying a while ago and now I can't stop.
     In a truly cowardly way I have used a victim I know to attack many of the #Me, too 's champions for taking NDA money.  I don't regret the attack.  Taking money without prosecuting or suing is wrong, because it allows the abusers more victims.  I regret that I lack the courage to tell my story, and have allowed others for 40 years to identify as survivors while I kept my mouth shut..
     Because I am not a "survivor."  My attack changed me forever.  I never "worked through it," or used it for the betterment of a movement, or even to console friends that they weren't alone.  And I'm not done being a pussy, either.  Maybe the night terrors I've endured for 40 years have become a part of me.  Maybe my needs, to know everything about psychology, sociology, interpersonal dynamics, and even espionage, are all big fat fronts to avoid.  I'm not going to share, even now.  I can't.
    Regardless of that, watching our President, accused of 19 incidents and probably the most vocal pussy grabber who voices his incest fetish in the history of ever, ridicule a victim--well, despite no surprise, still felt like a punch in the gut.  Listening to one rich, white, old, puke after another talk about this "poor man" has made me....not mad.  I'm past mad.  I'm.....deflated, defeated, and lost.
     I remember that as a kid I thought by the year 2000 we'd all be the Jetson's.  After my attack when I was barely 15, I was certain that feminism, that men abusing women, would certainly be done before I kicked the bucket, and my granddaughters, if not my daughters, would be safe.  I was wrong about the Jetson's and I am wrong about sexual assault.  The actions/voices  of my government has proved to me that we will never be safe.  The repugnant women telling their daughters that being groped is no big deal are the powerful collaborators for the abusers of the future.  How can you fight against other women?
     I don't understand.  Doesn't everyone have a Mother, a Sister, a Wife, a Daughter, a Friend who is female?  How can it be right, politically or socially, to mock those who have suffered so much?  Is it solipsism or sexism or straight up psychopathy en masse?  All the research in the world doesn't answer those questions when every voice that controls everything from the speed limit, to whether we go to war, to the amount of taxes you pay, tells you that you don't matter.  Your pain is negated for another great man to ascend 
     We must watch out for our sons lest the evil women make false accusations.
     Eve ate from the tree of knowledge and we all suffer for that original sin.
     I'd like to end this by saying I'll come out swinging, like I always do.  I think, though, that is a lie.  I never dreamed my country would behave this way, and I am certain I don't understand the rules, anymore.  I want to find the deepest hole, and crawl in it with my shame, and cowardice, and regret.  I don't want to watch another generation suffer, and for the first time, in an awful long time, I feel powerless.  

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