16 Years Later


16 Years Later

Wherein the Wicked Witch Makes Her 

Most Humiliating Confession of All

At the bottom of this post is a myspace post older than some readers.  It reared its head when I attacked a Catholic on twitter.  I maintain that anyone, at this point, who provides a nickel to the Catholic Church, until they do a complete, this century, overhaul, is complicit in the sexual and physical (and to me emotional & spiritual) abuse of children.  Suffice to say someone noticed that I have maintained my married name and then, with no fact checking whatsoever, determined that my position of Magistra means that a member of the clergy was covering up for a sex abuser, therefore the Church of Satan does.  I cannot allow that to stand.

In the summer of 2002 I was told by the victim of record that she and another victim had been a abused by my then husband.  I did not know until that moment, but I should have.  In that moment a thousand incidents, images, feelings and thoughts flash-bombed in my head and heart, and a gazillion things suddenly made the most sickening sense.  We fled that very day.  I did not forgive myself then, and I do not now.  I don't mind that my stupidity was/is painful.  I deserve it.  What I cannot bear is that my stupidity allowed innocents a pain that will never go away.  It would be wrong for me to forgive myself when they face the nightmares my mistakes caused for the rest of their lives.

I have said it repeatedly, and I won't ever stop saying it--the Church of Satan, as an institution, did what churches never do, they immediately severed the membership of the perpetrator.  The Church of Satan membership, be it my beloved Magister Mitchell, or High Priestess Nadramia, or the hundreds of well wishing registered members, supported me in every way to help me through this.

This is a horrible blot on any institution that actually cares.  While Catholics & Evangelicals alike seem to take an "oh, well..." sort of approach to the sexual abuse of children, one church alone can stand by its dogma and practice what it preaches--sever, shun, assist law enforcement.  My loyalty is eternal, but it is also strong enough that since 2002 I have given the Church of Satan an open invitation to ask for my resignation should my association with Gidney ever cause them an excess of humiliation or embarrassment.  Don't get me wrong--I love my place and role in the CoS, and I love my title, but I OWE them.  I can't not be a Satanic Witch, it is who I am, but I'd rather be alone than cause harm to an institution with such integrity in a world that seems to have forgotten the word.

So, here it is.  An update of why I am so viscous on religious abuses, so hard on the concept of forgiveness, and so convinced that a good cursing can do wonders.  On the practical side it demonstrates why the Church of Satan is such a threat to traditional churches, it will not suffer those who prey on children.  Traditional churches know they can't measure up.  Gidney is the perfect metaphor--raised born again, briefly pretended to be a Satanist for shock value, caught and "forgiven," returned to the pews that created him.  They make the monsters, and refuse to slay them.  

I'm on the side of the slayers.

www.churchofsatan.com

Nothing will ever stop me from singing their praises.

Y~

Monday, June 12, 2006
4 years later/The Gidney issue
Current mood:  contemplative
Right before I left Florida for the LA Convergence I had the misfortune to be approached on this site by someone purporting to seek my online friendship.
After checking out this person's page, I noted affiliation with what I myself and the Church of Satan consider a "pseudo-Satanic group."  Regardless, I wrote a brief, but not unfriendly response informing the person requesting my friendship that I wish them well but that I do not link with anyone affiliated with such a group.
You'd have thought I killed his  puppy.  In retrospect I should have simply wrote "Fuck off," because my would-be friend responded with such vitriole and intensity that even my kind words were fodder for attacks.
After stating that I must have denied him because I was concerned with my status in the CoS, he continued claiming all sorts of nonsense including that the CoS had been "stolen" from Karla LaVey.  After a good giggle (and informing him that I thought Karla was an idiot and a name-dropping gutterslut), I left for LA.
Knowing that the majority of moderators and Church clergy were in LA, and evidently being unaware that folks have mobile computers, this moron went to my chosen playground (LttD) and attempted to humiliate me, and by extension the CoS by dragging up old news.  Luckily the offending post was removed promptly, and everyone I know who saw it once again displayed the decency and kindness I have grown to count on.
That being said, perhaps it is time (once again) to address the issue.
Although the divorce is not final, I have been separated from William Gidney for four years.  For 3 and 3/4 years I have been loved, cared for, and engaged to the most amazing man on the planet.  For 3 years Gidney has been in prison w.here he is sentenced to stay until 2012.
Gidney was/is a monster.  He was also a very successful sociopath, fooling large numbers of otherwise intelligent people.  Additionally I was guilty of a major Satanic sin:  Counter-productive pride. For years I was too prideful to admit the huge mistake I had made in marrying and supporting him.  Instead of facing my mistake I endured, covered-up, and otherwise protected William from himself.
I left William the very day I discovered his crimes.
I spent the next year assisting law enforcement and the victims to gain a conviction.
When given the option of going to trial and facing 30 years or pleading guilty and taking ten plus ten of sex-offender probation, Gidney took the 10---knowing he was guilty as homemade sin.
The Church of Satan faced this with me.  Although it was as embarrassing for them---having a member of the Priesthood accused--they did not do what every other religious organization does and hide or move the offender.  They didn't give up on me, either.  It certainly would have been less embarrassing for them to throw me out with Gidney, but they became my strongest support system.  They did the right thing, as hard as it was, and excommunicated Gidney, and stood by me and the victims.  As a result every anti-CoS asshole brings up Gidney whenever they want to hurt the CoS, unaware that, in my opinion and that of victims everywhere, they did the most noble thing possible.
Like some weird virus, the topic is consistantly brought up, spread about, and used to denigrate whenever some twit gets his panties in a bunch.  Apparently uncaring that there are real victims of  real crimes, these losers ignore the integrity displayed by the CoS, and attack out of spite.
I have done my penance.  This ordeal is life-changing, and for the victims, never-ending.  It is real.  The pain is real, and those who use it to attempt to damage the CoS are doing so on the backs of real victims who did nothing to deserve it.
No one needs to tell me that just being with Gidney makes my judgement questionable.  I cannot argue with those who use my previous affiliation with Gidney to call me stupid.  Mea fuckin' culpa.  Obviously I have learned a lot, changed a lot, and grown exponentially as a result of my horrific mistake---but others don't know me and can only judge what they see.
However stupid I may be personally the Church of Satan behaved in a heroic manner.  When every "traditional" religion from the Catholics to the Mormons excuse, transfer, or cover-up their pedophile clergy, the CoS excommunicated Gidney as soon as the arrest warrants were signed.  They stood by me, as well as the victims.  With little or no regard to those waiting for an opportunity to shit on them, the CoS did the right thing.  This isn't about good guy badges, but about genuinely doing what is right. and anyone who claims otherwise is a shallow, loveless, petty moron.
So.........there ya have it.  My loyalty to the CoS is based not on position, standing, mystique or delusion.  It is based on a reciprocal respect and the knowledge that under the very worst of circumstances they will respond with the most Satanic of  actions.
Hail Satan!
Hail the Church of Satan!
Priestess Ygraine

Comments

He deserved longer, but that's my opinion
My love to you, always, Y, for being the bastion of strength that you are
Casey Meyer said…
I'm sorry you had to endure such a terrible situation! I had no idea and I agree with Robert, the sentence was not long enough! I look to your for advice and you are one of the strongest women that I know! I admire your strength of moving past this and conquering your own demons in doing so! This man is not a man, but a stalker of innocence and defiler of children! I wish the wrath of every Pestilence upon him! Ever forward my friend!

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