Saturday, February 9, 2019

Meet the Wicked Witches

These are the 10 Finalists for the

5th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year

Welcome to the home of some of the most amazing Satanic Witches on our planet.  This time of year is always bittersweet for me.  The good always outweighs the bad.  I get the absolute privilege, and that isn't hyperbole, it is a fucking PRIVILEGE, to get to know recent additions to The Infernal Empire, touch base with old friends, and catch up on the exciting things all the nominees have done over the past year.  The bad is obvious, too.  It sucks picking one.  It literally makes me sick as the wadded kleenex and piles of half eaten Tums, will attest.

This year I scaled down the finalists to 10.  I thought of listing every nominee, and then realized that it served no purpose.  I will say that if you identify as a Satanic Witch, are a card carrying member of The Church of Satan , and use social media, you were probably nominated by a loved one.  There were a ton of you.

There are some witches who have been nominated repeatedly and might wonder why they have yet to wear the pointy spire of the WWotY.  The answer is simple.  The higher you shoot, the longer it takes, and I am always watching.  If a witch has stated plainly her goal is to win an Oscar, it is unlikely I will give her the award for her first indie film.  It isn't that she is lacking--quite the opposite, her very nomination proves she is well on her way, but Satanism demands we place our desires into active form.  Each nominee has made tremendous strides in creating the life they desire.  Not only is the old cliche accurate--that each nominee is a winner, but in this case, each one of them is a compelling representation of Satanism.  Each one proves  that we are the champions of individualism, masters of making our way in a world that doesn't understand us or want to, and that the good Doktor wrote The Satanic Witch not just to inform us, but to describe us. 

In most cases I have simply edited essays that the finalists have submitted,  I URGE (demand?) all readers to utilize the provided links to support these brave women.  Additionally I have highlighted passages that I have found particularly insightful.  In addition to the WWotY award, this year I have utilized Magister Frost's Undercroft to do a sort of people's choice, secondary, award, that I am pleased to call The Undercroft's Members Choice Witch.  Please use the link to create an account, friend me, and vote in the available poll.  Like the WWotY, that poll winner will be formally announced on Valentine's Day.

I want to point out that several finalists cited our 4th Annual Wicked Witch of the Year Troj Bruegal as an inspiration and mentor to them.  That gratifies me more than I can say.  If this bit of demonic whimsy were to have any real point it would be the development of real world relationships that strengthen and empower Satanic witches--a sexy little ditty we Satanic witches call "Stratification!"  Regardless,   Troj is a tough act to follow.

Last, but never least, as individual as we are, as strong, we humans are the most social of the beasts in the jungle.  Satanic or Mundane, Magical or Muggle, Asshat or Cool, no one gets through this ride alone.  My incredibly patient partner in crime is Radio Free Satan .  The shit these folks let me get away with is unreal, and surpassed only by my gratitude to them for letting me.  If you aren't listening to them, you're a big dummy.  If you aren't telling your friends about the hugely diverse music and comedy selections on Radio Free Satan I will curse you.  (kidding.  kinda'.)

Now, the witches.....

Cimminnee Holt/Witch Zaftig

Cimminnee Holt

I am a doctoral candidate in Religion and Culture, focusing on magic and esotericism, ritual, new religious movements, and religion and popular culture. I have received multiple research grants and awards of excellence, and have peer-reviewed publications in my area of expertise. My dissertation is an ethnographic work on members of the Church of Satan, examining how Satanists apply their religion in daily life as they negotiate the demands of the modern world. 

I lost forty pounds out of the *cough cough* pounds I gained because of a thyroid disease (diagnosed two years, now recovering well). It may not appear, on the surface, as a big accomplishment, but prioritizing my physical and mental health has drastically shifted my perspective. PhD-ing is a brutal, unforgiving, and rigorous process. There is little doubt in my mind that I developed an illness because I overtaxed myself in graduate school for a decade. It was my body’s way of saying, “Fuck you, bitch. If you won’t slow down, I won’t give you a choice.” 

Illness derails your plans. It disrupts your drive and ambition. It robs you of time and energy. But it also forces you to reevaluate your priorities under the new, tempered, post-diagnosis conditions.  

So I hit the gym three times a week and have come to view working out as a cathartic ritual in and of itself. At the beginning it was tough, as new challenges always are. But now there’s an unspoken competition with a few guys there, as they surreptitiously watch what I lift. Three sets of pulsing squats with 50 lbs kettlebells? No problem. If you’re blessed with a big ass then it’s your duty to work those muscles out. 

Sometimes when I’m in the zone I feel strong and capable and brawny, and sometimes I want to vomit all over the treadmill. But I keep going. I enjoy tracking my progress in weights and reps. It is a clear, measurable way to trace the positive results of hard work (unlike grad school, where you toil away in solitude for much of your degree, under murky guidelines, and the imminent threat of a dismal job market). 

In the year I’ve been actively working out, I’ve rarely stepped on a scale. Let my physicians measure the weight loss—there’s certainly more to go. But the ultimate goal is not some arbitrary number; it’s how to balance my workload with a social life and physical activity. Such a simple thing is not without its challenges for the workaholics among us. 

Here’s how our weird little religion has helped: I have confidence in the covenant I made with myself to succeed. If the primary goal of Satanists is to thrive in our individual objectives and to pursue those objectives with steadfast resolution, then it is sometimes easy to be too harsh on ourselves when we (inevitably) encounter problems. So I have instead redefined what it means, for me, to triumph:

Success is a thousand small steps in the direction of an ultimate goal, with setbacks. 

Witch Troj impacts me every day with her humour, intelligence, and genuine kindness. 

Q: Public versus Private versus Depends? 

A: This is entirely up to the individual. Any member (high ranking or otherwise) that tries to sway others on this subject doesn’t understand the world beyond their own nose. True, the general population may not be coming to burn down your house or chase you out with pitchforks, but they can deny you housing, employment, and opportunities if your religion makes them uncomfortable. And it does. Just because we’re atheists doesn’t mean we’re not also kind of weird (stated with great affection). Adopting the symbol of Satan, however metaphorically, is not for everyone, nor should it be. Even if they don't know your "religion," you may still register as someone different. True Satanists are and always will be outsiders. Some members own this, and can make it work for them. But identifying yourself as a Satanist should never be taken lightly. Don’t be a martyr. We don’t respect it. 

Josie Gallows
My name is Josie Maxine Gallows and I've been a member of the Church of Satan for 18 years, recognized as a Witch since 2015. Satanism has always been a natural fit for the way I function. The single greatest reason for success in my life is I learn rules so I can exploit them.
A worldview based on natural law and self-interest fits very nicely with that mindset. So, I've been a student of psychology – and applied social science like criminology – for all of my adult life. Both formally and informally. My career is a mosaic, ranging from online sales to dominatrix sex work to the fine arts. I need to understand both myself and others, hone those skill sets that make witch/craft possible, to do what I do. I'm aiming to have a private platform for my dominatrix work by year's end, but I've been successful through more established services.
My biggest accomplishment last year, that I'm willing to divulge publicly, was setting the gears in motion to arrive in NYC with a practice space for my music, connections in the adult entertainment industry, and more vanilla type employment for my partner-in-crime and soon to be husband. Though I'm hoping he'll be the next Peter North. All of these have come to pass and I'm ready for what I believe will be the definitive era of my life and my work. It's a difficult thing arranging a new life across a continent with a huge disparity in market values. And far from an afterthought, but I'm also compiling two Satanism books, one of them Church of Satan canon on the subject of Satanism and gender issues, so getting to a point where I have that sort of trust and confidence was a highlight of 2018.
If I had to pick any other Satanist who impacts my life, I'd have to give credit to someone I haven't already given enough credit. So, hello Troj. She provides balance to my fury and chaos, and she's a good friend who I know I can count on when it comes down to brass tacks. Both of those fronts are so very important to my world. I wonder if she's aware of how monumental her voice has been in the positive development of so many people's attitudes and sentiments. And I can't think of higher praise for a professional therapist. All the Satanists I respect have some quality that keeps me coming back for me. Something that enriches me in an area where I could be stronger even if I'm not necessarily weak. Her diligent patience with a wide range of subjects encourages a methodical but welcoming approach that many people could stand to develop for their lives. I'm often perceived by my enemies as a vicious gal who's incapable of reaching across the aisle. Though I think I just despise blatant stupidity with every scrap of DNA in my body. I truly love complimentary women who are also remarkably different from myself, and Troj fits that bill.
If I had to give any sort of hint to a burgeoning Satanic Witch, it's that Satanic witches aren't parrots. They don't yearn from their cloacas awaiting someone else's agenda and motivations. They are cunning, adaptive, but concrete when it comes to their core self because they've put in the work. They've adapted around so many obstacles that the unmovable within them is readily obvious to themselves. Making our own virtues based on our own self-aware sympathies seems to help the magic. The way I get what I want is by identifying all the openings that basic bitches refuse to see or are too dumb to recognize. I figure that kind of vague but true statement applies to all Satanists, but Satanic Witches in particular.
There's never been a time when women folk weren't plagued by inquisitions and ponderous rule books on who we ought to be despite ourselves. There will never be. And I see frequent reminders of this state of affairs every day I choose to open my eyes on the world. The Satanic Witch is all about turning womanhood into a magic wand, or dagger, instead of being toyed with.
It's been observed that women like to shop. And isn't that the nature of women? Getting to know what we want, because we can want it all, and the wonderfully dangerous thing about a woman – a witch – is she might ask “What do I want?” instead of “What should I want?”
Karen Steuer

I am a self-employed, owner of two successful businesses. I hope to either franchise or open second location within 2-4 years.  This year my biggest accomplishment was purchasing, with my husband, a second business. Going through the financing process was an enormous drag, but doing it on top of growing one business, and dealing with some personal losses that caused chaos for us, was more pressure than either of us imagined. But we did it with one thought in mind throughout: How does all of this wind up benefiting us in the long run? Like, what's the end goal and how do we make this happen. It helped us crystalize what our goals are and how we can work together to make them happen. Not easy for two extremely independent people!

The Satanic Witch ?: At first it rankled the woman who attended an all-women's college...but reading in context of the 60's, and what the main philosophy of empowerment, and embracing that which makes you unique and USE it to your advantage was a game-changer for me. I am not your typical witch....I lean more towards being a Martha Stewart in terms of loving to craft, and being an entrepreneur. I'm not an “out” Satanist. A trusting handful of friends are in-the-know, but it's my choice to practice the whole “you do you, I will do me.”

But the book itself inspired me to be more confident, feel secure in my personality and
look closely at my relationships with people who weren't healthy for my own personal growth. The tools were there for the interpreting and implementing and it was up to me to figure out how they best worked for me.

I earned a BS Accounting; MBA in Marketing and a certificate in Project Management from Boston University.  My professional life before being self-employed included 20+ years in higher education recruiting, sales and marketing. I spent seven years as an associate director of admissions for a small private college in NH. I then left to dip my toe in the waters or high-octane sales for a bustling computer hardware/software company and kind of hated it! Went back to higher education where I started my career in the strange blend of corporate education...counseling adults on non-degree/non-credit training programs and working
with businesses to provide niche training to their employees. It was my calling and I loved working for a HUGE university. But they sold my satellite campus (which was closer to home) and the life-work balance would have been terrible if I commuted to Boston daily, so I left that job to work with school districts across the US to identify deficits in school performance and create (and sell) professional development training programs to address their needs and begin helping them turn around their performance numbers. When recessions hit, and budgets are cut, professional development is typically the first line item cut. So I found myself at 45 years old, without a field and unemployed.

By that time, I'd been dabbling with my soap business on the side for 13 years, and knew if I didn't try making a go of it I never would. So I cashed in one of my retirement accounts, paid off bills and started peddling my soap. I was out 5, 6 and 7 days a week selling my soap and skincare to anyone that had money to spend. In five short years, I flipped a profit every year and had exceeded all business goals every.single.year.
Last spring a chance conversation led Paul and I to purchasing a metaphysical/herbal gift shop, and my life has been on a rollercoaster ever since.
I love animals, and despite my incredible fear of flying have flown more in the past two years than I have in the past three decades. I tend to be more of a home-body, loving the simple, quiet life Paul and I have built. Although running two businesses with the ambition of either creating franchises or expanding locations in the next couple of years means my life is rarely simple or quiet.

Shiva Rodriguez

I am a film-maker and writer. I don’t fly my colors on the job, but I don’t hide or deny it either. (Way too easy to Google me and find out.) Started out as a writer and costume designer for theatre, moved into writing and practical effects for film, then in 2013 I got talked into the director’s chair and have been doing that ever since.
My biggest accomplishment in 2018 was tackling the Norse Gods by producing a short film called “Father of Lies”, which I co-wrote, directed, and ...get ready for this… appeared in as a character. I suppose the obvious joke would be that I literally became a god for this film, but honestly I would say that Satanism played the same role that it does with pretty much every project I take on. That sheer determination to see something come to be, to create something from a pen and a blank notebook to a finished film to unleash unto the world. Even when I get less than stellar (or downright terrible) reviews, 9 times out of ten I get accused of being too ambitious and credited for having large balls for taking on the projects I do.
My husband, Garith. He’s been pushing me in my career for years and I can always count on him for a brutally honest opinion.
I understand that many people have jobs or living situations where being out of the broom closet would make their lives extremely difficult. I’m fortunate to not be in that sort of situation, but I have still found that letting people get to know me first before they learn about my religious affiliation tends to “soften the blow”, so to speak. As I mentioned before, it’s not hard for anyone to just Google my name and find out that I’m a member of the CoS and some of my past writings on the subject.
I actually take pride in the fact that so many people who have made that discovery will tell me that I’m nothing like what they expect a Satanist to be like… you know, like what their pastors have told them or how we’re depicted in so many books and movies. Over the years I’ve fouout nd about quite a few occasions where people who have met me and found out about my religion have gone on to set the record straight with others who spew out that Satanic Panic crap.
However, one must remember that I’m often in a position of leadership in my work and have already earned the respect of people prior to them finding out that I’m a Satanist. I don’t know how different things would be if I were not in a position where my best qualities are on open display.

Heather Height

Heather Height 

This year a  film I wrote and costarred in, “Nadia and the Therapist” won the Favorite Fetish Feature Film at the 2018 Fetish Awards. As far as Satanism's role, the first thing that comes to mind is the open acceptance of humans as sexual beings, leading to the same acceptance to that openness in myself and the practice of self actualization, ie: don't give a fuck what people think. I feel that an attitude of self actualization is possible even in the absence of other aspects of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs and an important aspect of being a Satanist. These two things in particular have been a great influence on my ability to open myself up to adult entertainment.

  Certainly, the Satanist who has the most impact on my life is my husband and business partner, Magister David Harris. David is my greatest love, my biggest inspiration and my most worthy foe.

 Q:  How would advertising be different if aimed at Satanists?

A: I find this question most interesting because, in a way, what it's really asking is “What would be the best way to manipulate a Satanist?” When considered from this perspective, “The Satanic Witch” could be seen as the ultimate book on advertising, especially in context of social media wherein everyone is, if they're smart, building their personal brand. You might say that the well studied Satanist was more prepared for the internet era than most, having the knowledge and encouragement to promote themselves when the rest of the world was still propping up talking heads on pedestals. That being said, and I hope this doesn't get anyone's alien elite panties in a bunch, Satanists are also humans to be manipulated.

If the conflation of advertisement and manipulation and the subsequent statement that Satanists can be manipulated raises your hackles, it's no big surprise. Some of the earliest and most effective advertisements were the World War 1 British propaganda efforts that would go on to inspire three chapters of Mein Kampf and, eventually, a film that can be considered, in my opinion, the template for modern advertisement/mass manipulation, Triumph des Willens ("Triumph of the Will") directed by Leni Riefenstahl. I have to acknowledge my mixed emotions about a woman directing a ground-breaking film from a cinematic perspective in the 1930s, juxtaposed against the insidious intent of said film. That being said, it cannot be dismissed, as it's remnants can be observed in commercials for products, organizations, entertainment and every leader we've had since at least John F. Kennedy who, according to those that viewed the 1st ever televised presidential debate, came out on top against Richard Nixon. As you may recall, those that only listened to the debate on the radio by and large felt Nixon was the victor. It has been debated that this was due to Kennedy's charm and good looks vs. well, Nixon.

So, how would advertising be different if aimed at Satanists? I would submit that it would be no different. In fact, advertising is inherently Satanic. It is no great secret that Anton LaVey was an admirer of fascist propaganda techniques and drew inspiration from their mesmerizing effects on the masses. This should not be confused with admiring the devastating effects on those who suffered in it's wake, or the anti-semetic, anti-homosexual message it was used to promote, because nothing could be further from the truth.
Because we are human, the methods by which we are advertised to, having been refined by increased understanding of human behavior, work on us too. (I, for one, am a sucker for the operant conditioning-based mechanisms of cell phone games.) Because we are Satanists, we recognize these manipulations for what they are and make our decisions from a more informed perspective than the bleating masses.


Hydra M. Star

 I work in online sales fulfillment for one of the largest retailers in the country. This is the job that pays the bills and I love it. I’ve also run for the last several years an indie Horror magazine devoted to the subgenre of Erotic Horror and in the last year have branched that out into book publishing; Infernal Ink Magazine and Infernal Ink Books,respectively. In what little spare time there is after all that, I also have an Etsy shop selling occult and Satanic themed pyrography items I hand-burn; The Burning Witch. Biggest accomplishment of the year, and how Satanism played a role in it: Though I did land the job I mentioned above this past year, and used a bit of lesser and greater magic to do it, that accomplishment along with getting the first book from Infernal Ink Books to market were I feel side-effects of the larger self-work I have undertaken in the last year. As many who know me know, I suffer from body dysmorphic disorder. I use the words “suffer from”quite on purpose. It, or rather the effects of it on my mental state and quality of life, have tormented me and kept me from fully living for years. I had dealt with a lot of it early on in my discovery of Satanism and The Satanic Witch, but there was still quite a bit of it that remained and in times of great stress the full beast would raise its head and life would become very emotionally painful for me. I would feel very much like I wasn’t good enough, physically or otherwise. I was a fake. I was a fraud. All of my pictures were taken from a flattering angle. All my posts about my accomplishments were only impressive to those who don’t know how things in publishing really work. No one really knew the real
me. They didn’t know the mistakes I’ve made. They didn’t know the wreck my personal life is. If they
knew all that they’d turn on me and besides that people were only nice to me and only complemented
me because they wanted something from me or they thought I was someone “important” when I’m not.
I mean it was so obvious to me. I had eyes and I could compare myself to others. I didn’t measure up
physically or in any other way. So, no complement I was given ever came without a negative emotional
response from me or an eye-roll at how obviously fake it was, even if I didn’t show it outwardly. Those
I was close with and believed truly did love me would be better off without me. This was my inner/self-
talk, for years.
The year 2017 and early 2018 were the worst periods of all that I described above to date. I came very,
very close to convincing myself to end all of it a couple of times. I just needed to get my daughter out
of high school and established on her path in life, before checking out. This was actually the plan in the
back of my head for years. In the meantime, however, I’d gotten tangled up with a certain person I’ll
mention in answer to the next question that cares about me enough to be devastated, if I choose to end
it that way, and my brain actually registered this reality as fact. So, I knew something had to give.
In April of last year, I was invited to take part in a private group ritual. It was part of a three day long
private event in California that was attended and largely conducted by Magistra Blanche Barton. The
weeks leading into this were bad for me emotionally. Real bad. I had to go though. I had to go because
I knew I needed it, but also for that person I mentioned above. He was going to be there and I’d
promised him I would be, as well. So, I went and I poured all of it out in that ritual. I focused on what I
wanted instead of all this BDD crap and death.
The rest of 2018 wasn’t perfect. Hell, in many ways 2019 has gotten off to an emotionally rough start,
but I’m happy to say that a lot of the BDD bullshit is gone from my head. I don’t find myself
CONSTANTLY comparing myself physically to every single woman I see or meet. I can finally see my
own beauty. I still have days when I feel that my accomplishments don’t amount to much and I’m not
nearly as impressive as some people feel I am. I still have a lot more anger to work through. I still have
a lot of anxiety to deal with. I still have a lot of mistakes in my life to fix. I still have a lot more self-
work to do, period, but I’m definitely in a better place now and on a path towards even greater
improvement. That was my biggest accomplishment of 2018.
I have two Satanists (sort of) that impacted my life greatly this past year.
Warlock Grigori T. Cross. He is my Nephilim. Don’t worry if you don’t quite understand what this
means, neither do we. He is also the person I mentioned above and is a big part of why I was able to get
(or at least start to get) my head on the right (er...left) path, again. He’s reminded me of who and what I
truly am and I don’t think I’d be here without him.
Though she doesn’t identify as a Satanist (I’d consider her de facto), my long time best friend Natalie. Much of it is too personally to go into publicly, but this past year I have witnessed her pull herself out of a situation (a few different ones, actually) that would have left most people, including me, ready to completely give up. Her resolve to not give up in the face of injustice and her own missteps is nothing short of inspiring.
Q: How would advertising be different if aimed at Satanists?
A: I think the advertising we’vetraditionally seen aimed at women would be dramatically different if it were aimed at Satanic witches. I think there would be more of a focus on being the best possibly you, instead of some often unattainable ideal that may or may not relate to what the witch actually wants or is. I see some promising changes in advertising that seem already to be going in this direction.
We’re seeing more and more ads these days depicting women (and men) of all different shapes, sizes,
ages, skin tones, and even some with “flaws” that a few decades ago would have never been included
in advertising. Of course, this is being done so that more of us will identify with who and what we see
in the ads, but I think the step towards realism will speak especially well to Satanic witches and give
them a better sense of how to employ said products in their lives and magic.

Lauren Hippenstiel

I am a Middle and High School Drama teacher at (Edited for safety). I also run Drama Club, as well as a Dungeon and Dragons Club. Once a week I have an after-school program for 3rd-5th graders to come in and learn about the theatre.

I am also a Freelance Theatrical Lighting Designer, which means I am hired by production companies to practically and creatively design how lights come on and off in a show, what lights to use, hanging them, focusing them, putting gels in places, picking which colors the lights should be, training the spot light operators, and running the shows. I am also getting into creative lighting for photography and videos, as well as architecture.

Greatest Achievement:
I’ve had one hell of a year, to be honest. Not in a bad way at all, I’ve just had a very good year and I might have a hard time narrowing it down to just one thing. Yes, I am tooting my own horn here, slightly, but hey, it’s true! I started my second year of teaching, got accepted into a Master’s Program, started taking classes toward said program, booked myself with lighting design gigs for the next 8 months, started a DnD group with Reverend Campbell and a bunch of other Satanists, fell in love, started my blog, and finally started telling my family how their comments make me feel. But I would have to say that what I am most proud of is that I found out I am getting published in Infernal Ink Magazine. I have a BA in Creative Writing and it’s really nice to finally be published and put it to good use. My poem is about butts.

Satanic Influences:
I have a lot of Satanists I look up to and learn from, including Adam Campbell and Witch Doctor Troj, but for me, the Satanist who has influenced me the most is Milton C from The Raising Hell Podcast. Now, I don’t have children, nor do I want them, but I started listening because I was interested in how Satanists with children would handle raising them in a world where everyone says their parents’ Church is “evil”, especially since Satanists don’t shove their beliefs down people’s throats. Especially Children. Once I started listening, I was hooked. I love Milton’s voice, his guests, and his topics of discussion.  

Public vs Private vs Depends:
I am not private about my affiliation with the Church of Satan, though I don’t bring it up in all situations. If somebody wanted to, they could google me and find a bunch of different links to the Satanic community, but not many people do that, except those who might be hiring me. If that’s the case, they would have to decide based on that alone not to hire me, which would be fine with me because I wouldn’t want to work for people unwilling to do research or accept views different than their own. That being said, I don’t go around telling my Great Aunt to check out my blog or wear my Sigil of Baphomet necklace around my students. I understand when people prefer to be private, though, because it may be easier to live Satanically without plastering it all over your person or home. I also don’t mind if people only wear Satanic merchandise and lots of black and whatever. If it makes you feel good, that’s how you should live your life because you’re not trying to make anybody happy but yourself. Just like everything in life, it’s up to the individual to decide what’s best for them.


Ambitions: I once pissed a guy off by answering this question with the following answer: “To be cute and happy.”  I figure everything I do falls into one of these two categories. The answer wasn’t lofty enough for him...whatever.  He’s still a single loser that stalks my instagram😹  To further expand on my ambitions, I’m continuing to work on creating my brand as a pinup, and building my audience.

Accomplishment of the year: quitting a job that was eating me alive.  I was full time, making almost $20/hr, and I walked away without a second thought.  I spent all my days off napping, genuinely too tired for much else. I’m happier, I’m more relaxed.  The paycheck was nice, but my mental state wasn’t worth it. How did Satanism play into this? My favourite of the Nine Satanic statements, number 6; I could let them keep expecting me to give my life to the company, or I could walk away, knowing my husband would understand.  Responsibility to the responsible, and while I was being a responsible adult, having a job, I wasn’t taking responsibility for my own happiness and mental well-being.

Another Satanist who impacts my life?  See above. Christopher supported my decision to quit, gave me breathing room while I processed and healed, never questioned my decision.  He knew how hard I worked, how exhausted I was, and he was absolutely in my corner during my dread of going to work every day and picked me up immediately when I texted him, “I quit.”

The Satanic Witch...
While The Satanic Bible was my introduction - my, “Wow, there’s a word for what I am!” The Satanic Witch is a learning tool, a guide book for a lot of tactics I already used in my life and ways to improve my toolbox of world domination, both publicly at work and school, and privately in my day-to-day life.   I was even more blown away by TSW, it reinforced that I was doing it right, that I was absolutely on my way to being the Jezebelle I was destined to be. Was I ever sidetracked, did I ever ever from the path? Of course, that’s life, but it is always at the back of my mind, WWASLD? He would tell me to be the best I can be, to lay low when need be, and to shine like the crazy broad I am.

A long time ago, and I mean a really long time ago (we’re talking 1970’s, here), I was surrounded by Playboy Magazine: the superb donor’s garage had centerfolds tacked up all over it amidst Snap-On Tool calendars, the place my mom and I got our hair cut (Love Cutters, the name alone just reeks of the 70’s...) had Playboy’s strewn across the coffee table in the waiting room, and as I waited for my mom to be done, I would always flip through them.  These women were beautiful, their bodies awed me.

Then the 80’s happened, I hit puberty, and I waited to turn into one of those women...and while I waited, one night while visiting the sperm donor and his family, I stood in the garage, still decorated with centerfolds, talking to my stepmom and my supercool, older stepsister who actually let me hang out with her and her friends in the mall (!!!), and I saw them, and I saw the centerfolds, and it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.  It didn’t happen to them, and it wasn’t going to happen to me. That was a horrible blow to my 13 year old mind, and that shit stayed with me for what feels like an eternity. How would anyone ever find me attractive, I didn’t look like a centerfold.

Enter early stages of Lesser Magic, where I figured out how to make people like me regardless of my looks, and I honed those skills, have answers, be smart, be funny as fuck, be charming as could they resist?  As Laurie Cabot failed me (hey, a lot of us had that phase, we were searching and had no idea what we were searching for...) as easily as my mother’s Catholicism had, until one day at Tower Records, sitting on the floor arranging our books section, when something quite literally fell into my lap from a higher shelf.  I read that book with a million yep, yeah, I’ve always thought that’s! I put the book down and said to myself, I’m a Satanist. Knowing what I was helped, but I was still having a hard time with the who.

My thirties were easier, I felt more powerful, more comfortable in my skin, started working on my appearance a bit, wanting to look nice for my wedding.  I pursued my desire to replicate a greaser look, the kind of girl Fonzie would date...while many of my steps have helped considerably with making me truly feel like who I knew I was on the inside, there was still the problem of not being a centerfold; I wanted that attention.  Yeah, having folks bow to my will because of my personality was nice, but my inner 13 year old still wanted to be a centerfold, I wanted jaws to drop. I wanted that whammy, still, 32 years later.

Then it happened, a friend made a post about putting together a horror themed pinup calendar of us Satanic Witches.  All my fear of putting myself out there, all my squishy bits, my tummy, all of me, I threw my glove down and accepted the challenge without any fear; my truly Satanic self completely overrode reason and years of self doubt.  When the time came for my photoshoot, I got ready, and walked around mostly naked with ease In front of someone I had never met. I let my Lesser Magic skills wash over me, and never looked back. I’m Miss January, a Satanic pinup and Witch.

HellzJezebelle at you service!

Tiberia Nine/Kindra J.

Although I did not receive an essay back from Kindra in time for this posting I want to say this--there would be no Confessions of a Wicked Witch podcast, nor the continuation of this blog without this woman.  She gave me a platform on Radio Free Satan and allowed me to be me.  She trusted that my minor gift works in spurts, and allowed me the freedom from guilt that allowed me to do what I love.  There would be no Confessions, not on any format, without the patience, kindness, and absolutely bawdy humor that is Tiberia 9!  If she wants to put shit up, I'll move heaven and Earth.  I love this woman!

Ruth Waytz

Magistra Ruth Waytz isn't going to win this year, mainly because she did so just 2 short years ago.  However, I would be a complete ass to ignore the multitude of nominations that came in to honor her.  We all know--there is no one cooler, kinder, more real, or more fun than Ruth.  I don't get the whole Q-tip thing, but I don't have to.  So here--have a cool pic of Ruth giving her own poetry to Nick Cave.  As many a wise person has said "The men want to sleep with her, and women want to be her!"

In closing, I want to thank these beautiful witches for allowing me, sometimes repeatedly , to invade their lives and share their personal views and achievements. They remind me, daily, of exactly why I am so proud to be a member of the clergy in The Church of Satan .

All my love, & Hail, Satan!
Magistra Ygraine

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