Thursday, September 17, 2020

You Might Not Be Glad That You Did

Wherein the Wicked Witch Confesses

The Neo-Panic has Caused an Existential Crisis

Twenty years ago, having already spent several decades on the front lines of alternative religious advocacy, I was asked to do an interview for an upcoming episode of A & E's The Unexplained, representing The Church of Satan.  

It was the tail-end of the Satanic Panic (which, of course, we didn't know at the time,) and I was doing media frequently, from my third occult bookstore, Pandora's Box.  I was still under the now disproven notion that education and information could solve all problems.  National television was an opportunity, in my mind, to help make a safer future for my kids and the kids of other Satanists.  I was scheduled to be interviewed in my shop, which was not unusual, and we even scheduled a ritual, replete with a nude altar, for the cameras.  The interview became three days of a camera crew following me about, filming all kinds of mundane and magical things, and eventually, the aired episode was, unintentionally,  much more about my Satanic life than about Satanism in general.   That made me uncomfortable, but I knew I had done my best, and only hoped I didn't screw anything up for my Church.

Faithful readers, good friends and confidantes, and everyone who has ever disliked me know what happened shortly thereafter.  Those wanting to catch up can read 16 Years Later and see that not long after this episode was filmed my life hit the skids in a fucking major way that took a decade or so to recover from.  Due to the prominent placement of my ex-husband, I had relegated this show to the shame file and avoided mentioning it or promoting it. 

I had no idea that there would be a return to those days.  I didn't realize how quickly society could reverse itself, or how all the years of work many of us had done to demand nothing more than our First Amendment rights, could vanish in the blink of an eye, but here we are.

I am a Satanic Witch.  With that definition, I expect to be the scapegoat.  I expect weak people, dependent on imaginary beings, to blame me and mine for all sorts of wrongdoing.  I expect those desperate for some race, creed, or gender to feel superior to, to use me & mine as their free pass to vent their bigotry.  

What I didn't expect is my country to fall so far apart that the President and any number of legislators could feed me & mine to the ignorant masses, lie through their teeth about us, and put us in jeopardy, again.  I never thought we'd be in the place where, 20 years ago, we were.

When I hear Christians talking about how under attack they are, I want to scream.  It is such bullshit.  The last few years have proven nothing as much as the power of Evangelical Christianity, to the detriment of everyone else.  These people are of the mind that anyone else having equal rights means they have reduced ones.  Their argument "_______________ (insert minority group here) don't want equal rights, they want MORE rights!" is a textbook worthy definition of "projection."

So, I wonder.  Are we in danger again?

Will someone physically attack me, again, for the love of their God, like 20+ years ago?

Will my step & grandchildren be picked on and humiliated, like my kids were 20+ years ago?

Will the police come to my door and tell me there are credible death threats against my life, like 20 years ago?

Will those same police look at the art on my walls, the books on my shelves, and based on that alone attempt to take kids away from me, like 20+ years ago?

Will small-minded neighbors poison my pets, break my windows, or vandalize my car?

Will real criminals get away with crimes because the great unwashed would prefer to place blame on Satanists than accept that normal Christian folk commit the vast majority of offenses?

Will I spend every waking hour correcting popular books and movies portraying us in ways that degrade and defame us?

40 years of interviews.

40 years of clarifications, explanations, lectures & testimony.

40 years of writing, speaking and explaining.

If this Q crap, this leadership that panders to the most stupid, most backward in our society, continues, will any of it matter?

Will everything I have done for almost 40 years mean absolutely nothing at all, making mine a wasted life, that made no difference for anyone or anything I care about?

I don't know.  I do know there isn't a snowball's chance in Hell of me going down that road without a fight.  To quote Nick Fury:

1 comment:

Warlock AJ Arbour said...

As I've come to expect from you, this was a wonderful read. No matter what they throw at us we will always get through it..maybe a bit scathed, but We are Legion.

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